Another taboo subject...

[Shugster]

A Woman was locked up for smacking her Son and lost her job..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8209991.stm

Would you smack your kid...? Even if you had told them repeatedly not to do something?

I will go out on a limb here and say that a smack on the bum is OK if you have tried other methods with no results. (I DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY OTHER KIND OF HITTING / VOILENCE BTW).

I will post an anonymous poll as to whether you would smack your kid on the bum or not.

I know it isn't the best policy, but I'm sure quite a few parents have felt that they've had no other choice at some point or other.

What do you all think?

 

[Weebl]

I did when mine were younger but have not had to in so long I cannot remember.

I know the PC attitude is you should sit the child down and explain things to them however I live in the real world where a wound up 4 year old is not generally in the mood for an in-depth discussion however a short sharp smack followed by an clear explanation of why they had it works wonders.

Mine are now 10 and 14 and while they are not little angels, they seem to me to be well adjusted kids who enjoy having fun but know not to take the p1ss.

 

[wgaf]

Yes! Parents need an ultimate sanction. In the vast majority of cases it is not for the government or some left wing, do gooder, socialist student straight out of uni with a degree in an 'ology and no life skills to tell us how we should raise our kids. If they misbehave to an extent that they need a smack then a smack they should get and parents shouldn't be scared or worried about doing it, if required.

 

[grumpyoldb]

Come on..............! How many kids are running the streets without any sense of discipline.........(we've done this in another thread!)

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Didn't do me any harm.

I'm not in favour of beatings but a short sharp shock works wonders in small doses!

 

[laboratoryqueen]

There is a world of difference between a smack and child abuse. It just says something of how much kids lack respect these days when the woman's own son phones the police because she smacked the younger brother. Is that something we'd have ever done as kids? not a freaking chance, one thing, if we'd called the police because of unruly behaviour we'd have got a clip off the police too. If the do gooders would leave well alone when someone is trying to discipline their kids, within acceptable boundaries, then maybe we wouldn't have the yob culture we do these days.

Parents have had so many restraints put on them as to what they can do to discipline their kids, as have teachers and the police, and then they wonder why so many teenagers now think they rule the streets and have no respect for anyone.

 

[timaloy]

This has gotten out of control. My mother dished out a few smacked bums to myself and my sisters when we warranted it, It doesn't do any harm. If a parent went a little further and gave the child a beating then it would be a completely different story.

Obviously the police have to act if called and in todays light of cases like the baby p enquiry, social workers must be taking everything very carefully but this is to far, i mean to even lose your job over a little discipline!!! this country has gone to pot

 

[grumpyoldb]

There is a world of difference between a smack and child abuse. It just says something of how much kids lack respect these days when the woman's own son phones the police because she smacked the younger brother. Is that something we'd have ever done as kids? not a freaking chance, one thing, if we'd called the police because of unruly behaviour we'd have got a clip off the police too. If the do gooders would leave well alone when someone is trying to discipline their kids, within acceptable boundaries, then maybe we wouldn't have the yob culture we do these days.

Parents have had so many restraints put on them as to what they can do to discipline their kids, as have teachers and the police, and then they wonder why so many teenagers now think they rule the streets and have no respect for anyone.

Well said.
There was a time when kids on the street had respect for the local bobby on the beat and had the confidence to approach him and ask for help. These day's, a lot of kids have the confidence to confront the police.

 

[timaloy]

Slightly off topic (sorry) As i have no children of my own yet, How is one supposed to discipline their children then?? I don't imagine telling a 2 year old who is constantly doing something bad will respond to kindly to a grown up telling it to stop

 

[R_Squared]

That story was a bit extreme. Frankly, It would have been instructional for the 15 year old to go without things provided by his mother's job like food and shelter, the spiteful little cnut.
I wonder if he'd enjoy life more in care, certainly he should have been given the opportunity to find out.

 

[laboratoryqueen]

That story was a bit extreme. Frankly, It would have been instructional for the 15 year old to go without things provided by his mother's job like food and shelter, the spiteful little cnut.
I wonder if he'd enjoy life more in care, certainly he should have been given the opportunity to find out.

Well if she lost her job as a school nurse and now works as a lingerie salesperson, my guess is that she's taken a bit of a drop in salary. However I bet the little scrote won't see where the responsibility lies for that financial drop and when asking for all the latest gadgets, consoles etc it'll be mothers fault for not providing everything to him on a plate, nothing to do with him.

As for the question about how to discipline children now, parents are not given any advice on what measures to actually use when the child goes off the rails. Health visitors tend to give out little anecdotes for the young child when they come towards the 'terrible twos' stage which is all dependent on the latest fad, at one time it was ignore the child in a tantrum, then it went to sitting the child down and talking to them and reassure them, try to explain that their behaviour is not acceptable, yeah because that really works in the middle of a screaming kicking fit with a two year old DT_Xtremez_09: The big thing now is the use of time outs where the child is removed from the situation and made to sit in a quiet area or gently restrained in an appropriate manner which makes them feel safe and secure and will reassure them, as long as this does not infringe the childs rights to freedom or make them feel excluded from an activity.

Sod that, a quick clip brings them to a stop pretty sharpish and saves all that pishing around.

 

[timaloy]

I wonder what was going through the 15 year olds mind to phone the bacon?? did he understand the implications on his family?? did someone at school tell them this was ok?? I'dnever have thought of this when i was 15, and if i did i'd prob have been hit with the thing

 

[metimmee]

A smack is fine as long as its not done in temper and with control. The threat of smacking should be worse than the act itself.

 

[laboratoryqueen]

A smack is fine as long as its not done in temper and with control. The threat of smacking should be worse than the act itself.

That is the bit which is more likely to be classed as abuse, it's not just the physical action of striking the child, the do gooders all jump about shouting that it's abusive to the child to raise them in fear of physical violence.

A couple of things which get me about the article used. They were in an argument, the mother, her 10 year old son and 15 year old son about using bad language, the mother hit the son. No where does it say on the bum, if she lost her temper and slapped him across the face would that be different? At 10 years old the actual need to smack a child is very much reduced as by that age discipline and respect and all the boundaries of right and wrong should have been instilled in them. Sorry but even the idea of swearing within ear shot of my parents just sends a shiver down my spine as to what would have happened to me.

 

[Rambling Sid]

I would have liked to say send them into the forces to teach them some discipline, but after reading a few threads on this forum, plus the fact that they are too young, that is out of the question. However if young, or not so young sprog accuses their parents of abuse, what is to keep them in an abusive home. Let the little darlings have a taste of foster care or worse. My Mam (yer I know I am a Geordie) used to rule our house, you wouldn't even think about giving her back chat. I would never accuse her of being abusive, she didn't give out a clip without justification. Its like this, what do you think would be the logical ending to going into the bar, going up to the largest rockape, fireman or liney and calling them a cnut......... learning certain lessons at home at an early age saved me from a lot of hassle.

 

[Mad Pierre]

My sons learnt that no meant no from an early age. You can't reason with a child under 2, it's beyond their capacity but they do understand the basics of comfort. Smacking the back of a hand causes instant shock reaction and instantly stops them reaching for taboo items. Used in conjunction with a stern command of "no" and it very quickly reinforces the meaning of the word to such an effect that they will always stop whatever they are doing when they hear that command from the voice they recognise. I rarely had to carry through with the physical reprimand once it was understood and never had to smack either son after age 2, a raised hand and a firm "no" was all that was needed.
The youngest is 20 next week, over 6ft and built like a brick ****house, if I'd been unneccesarily harsh I'd be paying for it now. DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[icarus]

And I can understand her grievance at losing her job too.

'An employment tribunal upheld the school's decision, but Susan feels aggrieved that she lost her job when a colleague at the school had retained their post despite having a criminal conviction'

"That's why I was taking them for unfair dismissal, because they were treating one person very different than another, and one person had a criminal record and I didn't and I haven't'

 

[enginesuck]

I wouldnt dream of hitting my two and half year old, before i had kids i thought I would use smacking as a discipline tool. But not now. There are many alternatives. Time out being one i find very effective, if its done properly. A kid under three wont understand a smack, they see it as an acceptable response to something they dont like, hence they can become thuggish themselves.

Believe me i am not a pc wishy washy lefty, i just dont see the point in hitting a small child. That said some older kids might need a smack for exceptional bad behaviour, i dont know what age because my son isnt there yet.

 

[Sniffer]

I'd be pretty naffed off too. Especially considering she wasn't actually charged with anything, yet according to an article I read on this yesterday, her collegue, was charged with drink driving following a police chase! He is still in the job!

 

[The Masked Geek]

Most intelligent life forms use physical chastisement on their young and they do it for one reason:

It fcuking well works.


Time out is all well and good but, whilst it may work forever on a passive retard, an intelligent child will soon realise it's bollox and take their behaviour to another level.

The only things kids fear, and therefore the only assured way of gaining the behaviour you want, is physical pain and removal of priviliges although the removal of a favorite toy will only work for so long.

I use physical pain to control my child in extremis.

e.g. When they completely lose control and need to be snapped back to reality or when they constantly flout the rules.

One other time would be to save the child from imminent harm; such as them reaching for the open cooker door and not having time to shout a warning.



I also believe that we should be allowed to use it against adults. If some snotty little sh1t is intent on winding you up to the point you want to kill them and despite warnings they don't back down, then a single punch to the face should be permitted. If they respond then you can beat them senseless but that one punch should be enough. DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[ChrisBrit81]

A damn good beating has the complete opposite desired effect, it makes the child resent you. However, a short sharp smack (doesn't even have to be hard) gives the child a little glimpse of what an adult is capable of if pushed to far and this makes the child respectfully fearful.

Nothing wrong with a little smack, and as for the naughty step or corner or chair, some might say this is some kind of psychological/mental abuse if taken too far. I mean, we've all heard stories of kids being locked in cupboards/basements.

Personally, if my 2 yr old daughter does something naughty or dangerous, for example throwing a wooden block at daddy's new 40inch HDTV, I shout at her and sit her on the couch next to me for a minute or two. I'm lucky enough that she reacts to the shouting by staying still until I say she can go and play again. But I know of some parents who would give the little 2 yr old a hell of a hiding for the same thing, and that is just wrong.