Woman and Football

[Drill Bit]

So last night, Mrs DB and I sat down to watch the Paraguay vs Spain game; well I was watching and the wife was just in the same room. Running through the teams the commentator mentions Spain and Fernando Torres, the following dialogue occurs:

Mrs DB: 'Why is Fernando Torres playing for Spain?"

Me: 'Because he's Spanish sweetheart.'

Mrs DB: 'Yeah but he plays in England so he should play for England.'

Me: 'So how many none Englishman do you know who play for England then?'

Mrs DB: 'Loads!'

Me: 'Who?'

Mrs DB: 'Ronaldo.'

Me: 'Would that be the Portuguese Ronaldo who plays for Real Madrid, in Spain? Because he doesn't play for England.'

Mrs DB: 'Oh right, so who does he play for then?'

At this point the conversation came to an abrupt end with my agreeing never to speak about it again. So, to the point of this thread, would fellow goaters like to share any other stories of, the oil and water mixture that is, women and football.

 

[Ex-Bay]

[ Very un-PC, this one, but true ]

So there we all are, sat in front of the haunted fish tank and up comes the footie.
Mother-in-Law: Why's that coloured bloke playing for us ?
Me: 'Cos he's in an English team
M i L: He can't be. He's black.

 

[Scaley brat]

My missus loves her football, she understands the game fully, except of course the off side rule, in fact she enjoys it so much I have allowed her too have a TV in the kitchen DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[sabot_age]

off side rule for women

off side rule for women

It is not the pupil that is at fault gentlemen, but the teacher.
As with any interaction with "the fairer sex",you must put it into a contextual basis that their tiny half retarded double x chromosome brains can understand

Example- the off side rule

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!

hope this helps

 

[Dan_Brown]

awesome explanation!!

 

[AllWoman]

[ Very un-PC, this one, but true ]

So there we all are, sat in front of the haunted fish tank and up comes the footie.
Mother-in-Law: Why's that coloured bloke playing for us ?
Me: 'Cos he's in an English team
M i L: He can't be. He's black.

Oh dear oh dear and you say women don't understand!!

 

[stingray888]

Similar experiance to DB.

Mrs Sting. How come Rooneys playing for England. I thought you said he played for Man United?

Me. He does he plays for both.

Mrs S. How can you play for 2 teams?

Me. Ones his club and ones his country.

Mrs S. So who does he play for when Man U play England?

Me. They dont,t play each other.

Mrs S Why not?

Me. If you don't mind love I'm trying to watch the ba$tard football

Mrs S. Ooooo your easy upset today, I,m going next door to see Mrs M.

Me (quietly) Thank fcuk for that.

 

[tacadmin]

A few years ago, before the dark days of Rafa Benitez, I was watching a Liverpool game on the telly when the Mrs asked me the following:

Q - Where is that "Lampard Houllier" from?
A - Who is Lampard Houllier?!!!
Q - The Liverpool manager, silly!


Conversation ended at that point with me in fits of laughter. How random is that name?!!