1. Why are men such jerks?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men
suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average
life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not
just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone
modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
2. Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that
all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met
you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at
not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of
photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize
it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to
burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
We occasionally need to adjust "junior" and make him happy. It's
much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added
bonus.
4. Why do men always say such stupid things?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
5. Why are men so uncommunicative?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open
it you get into trouble with your partner.
6. Why do men have to act like such retards?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it.
It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in
so much of the world nowadays.
7. Why can't men just share their feelings?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that
men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we
feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing
some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our
foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache
whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
8. Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and hug)?
Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige
you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand
lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go
roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting
on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other
story.
9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by
evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time
without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often
necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while
hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit
very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on
this ability to their sons. The fidgety types were all gobbled up
by saber toothed tigers etc.
The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this
innate ability.
10. Why can't men just say "I love you?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To
say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you.
Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit
to one's own character faults.
11. Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?
Ho, Ho, Ho...Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure
fire way to get into your pants.
Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
12. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of
your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you
will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the
energy for other things.
13. Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we
know darn well you'll pick it up.
14. What's with all the belching and farting?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to
let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not,
its actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended
periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
15. Why do men hate shopping?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want
to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours
and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing?
Err... buying?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men
suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average
life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not
just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone
modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
2. Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that
all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met
you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at
not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of
photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize
it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to
burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
We occasionally need to adjust "junior" and make him happy. It's
much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added
bonus.
4. Why do men always say such stupid things?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
5. Why are men so uncommunicative?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open
it you get into trouble with your partner.
6. Why do men have to act like such retards?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it.
It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in
so much of the world nowadays.
7. Why can't men just share their feelings?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that
men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we
feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing
some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our
foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache
whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
8. Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and hug)?
Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige
you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand
lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go
roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting
on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other
story.
9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by
evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time
without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often
necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while
hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit
very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on
this ability to their sons. The fidgety types were all gobbled up
by saber toothed tigers etc.
The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this
innate ability.
10. Why can't men just say "I love you?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To
say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you.
Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit
to one's own character faults.
11. Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?
Ho, Ho, Ho...Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure
fire way to get into your pants.
Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
12. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of
your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you
will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the
energy for other things.
13. Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we
know darn well you'll pick it up.
14. What's with all the belching and farting?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to
let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not,
its actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended
periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
15. Why do men hate shopping?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want
to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours
and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing?
Err... buying?