laboratoryqueen
Dr Midget Midgetson
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2007 diary
I have agreed to try and keep an account of this years hosting of a child effected by the Chernobyl disaster, can't promise to keep it fully up to date as I could never be bothered in keeping a diary.
The only details as to the child which I have so far is that, they are from the south east of the Ukraine and I pick them up from Newcastle airport on the 9th July, and they'll be here for three weeks and not the normal four.
I have to attend a meeting held by the charity on May 21st where hopefully I'll be given details of the child, name, age, sex, illnesses and address. At least then I should be able to contact the child's family, introduce myself and strike up some form of contact so the child is not coming into as much of an alien surrounding.
I have been told tonight, by phone, that another host family have volunteered to care for my host child whilst I'm at work, luckily I'll only be at work for one week during my time as I'd booked in two weeks off.
Okay update 21st May
Went to the meeting tonight to find out about the child I'll be hosting, only got barest details so far.
A girl named Najda aged 6 years old. She's an orphan and lived in an orphanage in the Ukraine for two years, now lives with her grandmother and two sisters and a note made about her home life, not very well cared for and is a good girl, outgoing.
I've someone coming out to see me at home, sign forms and basically check the sleeping and living arrangements within the next week.
It happens that my niece gets married on the 21st July, during the hosting period, so I have a fantastic excuse to buy pretty dresses for a little girl, for the wedding of course, oh and shoes, must have shoes. Ok I admit, we'll be hitting the shops as soon as possible with her and spending mad amounts on new clothes for her, and shoes
The day she arrives is the 9th July, which is also my son's 6th birthday, it's going to be like having twins for a bit, two six year olds in the house.
I don't have a picture yet of her but as soon as I do I'll post it up.
June 20th
Been to a meeting tonight and learnt that even though her name is written down as Najda Yaraslova, they write the surname first so she's actually called Yaraslova. And she speaks no English, so I'm going to have to think up some ways to communicate with her apart from charades and flash cards
July 9th
I picked Yaraslova up this evening. She was absolutely terrified, nervous, crying and just not knowing what to expect. I don't speak her language, she does not speak mine, so having to try and give reassurance without speech is a bit difficult. She came home with me and just looked so lost, she's 6, very very slim, blonde haired and so pale, she just looks delicate and fragile. She had one bag with her, a school bag sized back pack, one dress, one pair of trousers, a couple of tops, couple of cardigans, tights and underwear, that's it, and that's also about her entire wardrobe.
She may be small and delicate to look at, but good god can she be loud, very much a typical 6 year old. Ok the fact that we spent quite a bit of time having a balloon fight, and blowing party blowers and making oodles of noise may have something to do with that, but at least she relaxed. Now she's in bed snoring her head off, been a very long and stressful day for the little lass, so it's great to see her sleep so sound.
And ok ok I have to admit, George at Asda have a big sale on, so she does have a quite a large selection of clothes already here, not my fault it's the fact that the clothes were so cheap and too much of a bargain. Going to take her out tomorrow and get her some trainers though and more shoes, she's only got the one pair, a girl with one pair of shoes, surely that's breaking a law of fashion somewhere.
I have taken photos of her, and as soon as I figure out how to get them onto my computer and on here I shall do so. At the moment they are on my phone.
Only problem is communication so I'm trying to find pictures to have as flash cards, that way we can have some understanding about needs. But we've managed tonight at least. And she is absolutely beautiful.
12th July
Not had much time for anything at the moment so this is first chance to update since Monday. Right, Tuesday, I dropped my kids off at school, and then took her into the local market town to go clothes shopping. Once she realised the clothes I was looking at were for her, she really got down to business. I'd see something, hold it up against her to check the size, and then hold it out for her to see, then I'd look at her while I nodded or shook my head, she quickly picked up that I wanted her to say yes or no if she wanted it. We ended up with several bags of clothes, a pair of trainers and some fancy shoes, oh and princess dress up set. She loves pink fluffy girly things. I still have to buy her a dress for next weekend, as we are going to my nieces wedding.
While we were in town, she came across some automatic doors, she got really excited over them opening on their own. I showed her how to flush the toilet, she showed me some toilet paper in the bowl so I nodded and pointed tot he handle, then flushed. She kept going into the toilet after that and all you'd hear was a flush going again and again. Showed her how to use a soap pump dispenser, she loves washing her hands and smelling the soap. Oh and an aeroplane flew over quite low, which got a big reaction from her, dragging me outside to see it as she pointed and chattered away then running round with her arms out making aeroplane noises, I'm guessing she was saying how she'd been on one. Wonder what she'll make of the jets that come over.
I had a little bit of trouble at first getting her to eat. I asked the translator what food she was used to, thinking maybe I could I make something similar. Turns out she has only recently left the orphanage to go and live with her grandmother, who is very poor. She normally has one meal a day, of a water based soup. Carrots, swede, cabbage and potato boiled in water, that's the soup. Personally, I throw the water away when I boil the veg, so actually having that as a meal is a very strange idea to me. Now she does eat, everything I give her, everything in sight almost. Hopefully by the end of the three weeks she'll have gained a good amount of weight, she certainly needs to.
She's already showing her confidence and independence. I'm amazed that a little girl can have so little, and to have gone through so much trauma already, and yet still be able to have so much confidence. She's very wary of strangers still, to the point of clinging to me if someone comes to the door.
13th July
Ok lets see if this can be brought right up to present time. Wednesday she went swimming with the group. Had a little bit of trouble getting her to go with the charity leader. She actually ran from the living room, past me, I was washing up the breakfast dishes in the kitchen, and hid in the back porch, all because she saw Gwen coming to the front door. She started crying as she did not want to go with Gwen. I said in Ukrainian that she was going swimming, but she did not understand. I thought it was my very bad attempt at her language, so Gwen phoned the translator instead. As it turned out, Yaraslova was scared that Gwen had come to take her back home and she did not understand me as she'd never heard of swimming before. She's never seen a swimming pool. Once she was told she would be only gone for the day and then back home to me she was all smiles again and went without any further trouble. She was absolutely shattered when she got back. Apparently she saw the pool and just ran and jumped straight in, came up spluttering a bit but had a lot of fun.
Thursday she went out with the group again to an ostrich farm over by Alston followed by a picnic at a farm where they rode on cows and milked sheep (no I have not mixed them up by mistake). I could not go as I was work again. I'd made her a packed lunch, put more than enough in for her, as I like to give my kids a snack at about 10am of different types of fruit and cheese so I'd included those foods in her lunch too. I expected to find a lot of the food uneaten, mainly due to the amount in her pack and that the trip was followed by the picnic. I was amazed when all that came back was half a cheese sandwich. I thought the food problems were all done and she was eating.
Then this morning came, Friday. We got up at 6am as usual, got her and my kids dressed for school, then made breakfast. They normally have cereal first followed by toast and jam with fresh orange juice. This morning I gave her the bowl of cereal and she said no and pushed it away. I thought ok will just try the toast, she turned that away too and instead had the orange juice and a banana with some grapes. he's eaten the cereal fine all week, this was the first morning I'd tried her with the toast as well, thought I'd build her up to having more as the week went on. Then one of the other host mothers turned up about 7:45 with Anya, a 9 year old girl, she does speak some English. Enough to tell us that they are Orthodox and so do not eat dairy on Fridays. I did not know, but now I do, so no milk etc on a Friday.
Anya had come to mine as her host mum was at work today, as was I, however my 6 year old sons school had agreed to take both Yaraslova and Anya for the day. They thought it would be a good experience for them both and the other school children. Anya was fine going to school, Yaraslova was fine until I led her to the school gates, then she froze. It took quite a bit of coaxing to get her to come into the school and even more to lead her to the classroom. I called work and said I'd be a bit late. Eventually with the use of a handy Russian phrase book (Anya speaks fluent Russian and translated the Russian to Yaraslova) we explained that I would be returning later for them both, and she'd be able to paint and draw and play games, and go on the computer. My kids have had her playing on the cbeebies website games and PBS kids games, I think she's hooked now as every time I turn the computer on she runs to my side, or just sits in front of the computer waiting for me to turn it on. Anyway, we got her into the classroom and sat down with the other kids, gave her a kiss goodbye and then spent all day at work worried about her, expecting a phone call to say she needed to go home etc. When I picked them up at 3, she ran out of school, massive smile, gave me a huge hug and then showed me all the paintings she'd done, the headmistress had called her and Anya up on the stage during assembly and given them a special head teachers award for coming to school, and everyone had made a general fuss over them. She'd loved it. She does not seem the same girl anymore. She even looks different now, only a few days and she's so confident and smiling all the time, even singing and dancing. She's managed a few English words, Thank you, hello and goodbye, She's correcting me on pronouncing Ukrainian, and she giggles when I get it wrong.
She loves Cartoons, watches tom and jerry, road runner and bugs bunny. She's not bothered too much about dolls, likes Barbie, but she adores my little pony. Beth, my 11 year old has given her all her my little ponies as she's grown out of them, and she gave Anya all her Bratz dolls and accessories.
17th July
Been really busy over the last few days, a couple of problems cropped up with Yaroslava. Firstly on Saturday. I had to go to work so I'd arranged for her to stay with a couple who live near by, the translator and her daughter were staying there too for the weekend, so at least she'd be able to chat in her own dialect and be understood. I know she enjoyed herself there, and visited Durham with them, the cathedral etc. When she came home on the night she was a bit grouchy, which I put down to being tired, so she got ready for bed and went to sleep without a problem. Then about midnight i heard some very loud bangs coming from her bedroom. I went in to check on her and she was body rolling very violently back and forth and banging herself off the wall. She was still asleep whilst doing this. I woke her and settled her again, and then within ten minutes she was doing it again. I put her mattress on the floor as I was worried she'd either fall out of bed or really hurt herself on the wall, or both. She did not seem aware of doing it the next morning, was her usual cheery self. She spent the day with the same couple on Sunday, from 8:30am til 9pm as again I was at work, and she was shattered when I got her home. The same thing happened that night too. Monday she was like a different kid. Very moody, trying to push all boundaries, just general naughtiness really, some of it typical 6 year old antics, some not. Again Monday night, the same sleep episodes.
I contacted the translator today as I wanted to know if she had a history of RMD (rhythmic movement disorder) or was this a new thing brought on by all the change. Turns out yes she does have a history of it. Began in the orphanage, and some times she has an episode every night, other times she won't have one for a week or more. I've got the mattress on the floor at the moment so she's not disturbed during the night, she sleeps through all the episodes, and she's not near a wall and can't fall out of bed. I did that last night too, and today she her normal self again. Eating fine, polite, playing with the other kids no problem. She's been playing on the computer tonight, mainly sonic and columns. I have a kiddies V Tech console I'm setting up for her. Hopefully she won't have an episode tonight.
While the translator was here tonight I asked if Yaroslava had any questions for me. I was surprised by the one she did ask. Can she go to school again tomorrow. I guess she really did enjoy it. So yes she'll be attending school again.
I've asked for her home address, her grandmothers, as we are making up a parcel to send. Photos of what she's done, where she's been, clothes and gifts ect. We've been told not to send anything expensive as things have a habit of disappearing out there.
18th July
This photo was taken on my phone this morning. I think she looks so different from when she first arrived a week and a half ago, and much happier too. She is a beautiful little girl.
22nd July
A pattern has been noticed between Yaroslava's sleep episodes and her activities during the day, or more who she does the activities with. I'd noticed that when she spends a full day with me, she sleeps well and her RMD is almost non existent, after a couple of days with me, she has no RMD, however, if she spends a day away from me, with the rest of the group, she has an extremely restless night and violent episodes of RMD. I brought this to the attention of the charity leaders, who have since agreed with me on this, so she has not attended any of the organised trips recently. That's not to say she's just been sitting idle.
Thursday I took and the kids to a fun fair, organised by my 11 year old daughters school as part of their graduation ceremony. Yes, Junior school now has graduation. She loved it. Went on several of the rides, spinning tea cups was her favourite. She also sat and had her face painted by a clown, she wanted to be a daisy.
Friday I took her horse riding. She had a very placid horse called Bailey, though her horse was led by a girl, while I rode beside her. She wants pictures of everything, as this will be the only trip of this kind for her, she wants pictures of her events for her memories. She loved the horse riding, and with signing to each other we were able to communicate quite well what was needed for her do. Her understanding of sign language is coming along very well, and she's managing to ask for things and explain what she wants much easier now.
Saturday was the wedding of my eldest niece, Rachel. I'd bought her a special dress, and shoes and ribbons and beads for her hair, she loves having her hair done all girly. She truly looked like a princes. I was a bit worried how she'd cope with being amongst so many strangers as she is still very timid around new faces. I need not have worried, she was in her element. At first she would not move from my side, but then curiosity got the better of her and she began to mingle a bit. The only children there was a young girl who was bridesmaid and Yaroslava. She lavished in the attention she got. My other worry was how she'd cope with the three course sit down meal, again, no worries. When she was served her food, she looked to me and I signed what the food was, and she did eat, without problem. She can still be shy of any food she's unsure of, with trying new things, but she put all that aside and just enjoyed herself. The only thing she did get upset about was when she tried to eat a table decoration before I could tell her it was not edible. From her reaction the taste was foul. Each table had a disposable camera, and she played photographer for the day, taking so many pictures, signing for people to pose for her, wandering around, without me by her side but always in sight, and approaching people and interacting with them. Even posing with people herself, allowing them to sit next to her and she even hugged some people when it was time to leave. I was in total awe of her on Saturday, her confidence is in extremes now.
Today, Sunday, we've had a lazy day. Normally I work 14hr shifts on a Sunday, but on holiday at the moment so able to spend my time with her. My kids have been away with their dad since Friday night, not to return until Sunday evening. I took the chance to cook a proper Sunday roast dinner, and again she ate very well, even foods she's previously turned down. She loves Yorkshire puddings and corn on the cob. She even managed to have jelly afterwards but then said she was full so laid down for a bit. When she was active again, I put the bouncy castle up in the back garden, she loved that and again kept calling for photos to be taken of her. She even trying new fruits now too, kiwi fruit, papaya, mango as well as her favourites. She loves banana's and melon, grapes, oranges, apples, most fruits actually.
She was weighed when she first arrived, she weighed all of 2 and a half stone on arrival. Age six and that's all she weighs. My 2 year old weighs around about that much. She was weighed Wednesday night, she was 3 stone. A week and a half and she has put on half a stone. I hope she can continue at that rate. She has filled out in her face, she's not as sallow now, not sunken or dark under the eyes, smiles constantly, and does not look as fragile. She looks more like a normal healthy little girl now.
When she first arrived I'd bought a pair of pyjamas ready for her first night, they were so baggy around the waist I had to tie a ribbon round them just to stop them from falling down. After her bath tonight I put the pyjamas on her and was going to tie the ribbon round again when I saw that the trousers now fit her perfectly. She really is filling out fast.
25th July
On Monday she did have a day out with the rest of the group. The charity leader and I had a long discussion about Yaroslava, and we decided that since she'd had several days with only me, we'd now give a group activity a try. She went to a sea life centre and then had a picnic on the beach. The night before she went I packed up a bag for her to take, explaining everything I was putting in, towel, bathing suit hat, disposable camera etc. She loves taking photos and I asked her to take lots of photos of the beach. She adores the Disney film The Little Mermaid, she watches it after her bath every night, and at least now, instead of watching it two or three times a night, she will then ask for the sequel to be put on. She loves stories of a girl who becomes a princess and lives happily ever after, she loves dressing up as a princess, though her favourite is Ariel, anything mermaid related. So going to a sea life centre and the beach was like a dream for her. She was shattered when she came home, and the first thing she asked for was to watch The Little Mermaid. She had no RMD that night, and she has not done since last Wednesday. I've used Lavender scents in her bath and bedroom since Thursday, and she's had full rest full nights since then.
Tuesday we went out to market and into town buying gifts to take home to her sisters and grandmother. Allwoman had come to visit us on Monday, staying for a couple of days, spoiling her but mostly marvelling at how much food this little girl can put away. Even just a week ago, Yaroslava would hide from visitors and strangers, yet now, there's a stranger in the house and she just accepted and interacted with her. She is still timid when faced with several at any one time, as when she returned home on Monday she walked in the house and was faced with my mother, Allwoman and Steve's wife and two daughters, as they have come to visit too, also my 15 year old niece had stayed with me from Saturday until Monday. I've had quite a house full lately.
She's out on a trip again today. Before going I did have some strong words with the translator. I disagreed very strongly with her attitude towards Yaroslava. I'm not known for being very tactful or subtle, and this time I did not attempt to be either. As far as I'm concerned, Yaroslava is with me, therefore my responsibility and part of my family.
27th July
I think we may have a slight little problem. Tried several suitcases and all are far too small. The big one on wheels I have is about the same size as her, she'd easily fit inside it, mind so would I but that's not the point. The big one is packed full just with the clothes I've bought her, we still have her new toys and her shoes to try and fit in. It's not even got all her clothes in yet either as she has washing hanging outside to dry. We've managed to fit some of her favourite toys into the bag she came with, that's going to be used as her hand luggage. She has so many things now I don't know how we're going to fit it all in. I also think it's almost at the maximum weight limit, oops. Well we have until Sunday night to try and figure it out.
Took her and the kids to Hamsterly forest today, had planned on staying there for the day but my ex phoned when we were on our way and said he was heading over to pick the kids up early. They did get to run amongst the trees and play in the river and on the big wooden play area. Bought some gifts in the forestry shop too. It's so easy to forget now that there are still many things she's never seen or experienced, and yet she accepts all the new things and kind find so much enjoyment in the simplest things. Though one major problem did arise, she likes squirrels, she will learn how wrong that is.
She's excited about going home, was running round and helping me pack her things, but then she'd close the lid on the case and shake her head and hug me. So we'd come downstairs again, leaving the case on my bed and we sat and watched Cinderella again. She loves the Disney films of the poor girl who found her prince and lived happily ever after. I really do wish she finds her own fairy tale. I'm finding it hard now that it's nearly time for her to leave. I know I'll not see her again, and i'm aware that keeping contact will be mainly one sided, sending out parcels etc, whether they actually reach her is another matter. I just hope she's happy when she goes back, but at least she'll not be returning to the orphanage.
29th July
It's Sunday, and our last day with Yaroslava. She is picked up tonight at midnight to be driven down to Gatwick, by coach, with the ten other children who arrived with her. She flies out to Kiev early Monday morning, then driven to Chernigov to be with her Grandmother. She's not wanted to go anywhere this weekend or do anything. She's spent her time between watching all her favourite Disney DVD's, playing in the garden and basically just enjoying being at home.
There's a party today at 4pm til 6pm, a mixture of a leaving party and a birthday party, as Olena, one of the other girls, will be 10 the day after tomorrow. As Yaroslava is so in love with the idea of princess stories, she'll be dressed as one at the party. Beth has a Princess style costume, which is too small for her now. It fits Yaroslava just about, so what better way to have her last day than as a fairy tale princess.
I have managed to pack her things now, I think it's within the weight limit, though some things I am having to chance posting out to her, fingers crossed they reach her.
Sunday night
She's gone. When she left, she was a very happy little girl, a normal little girl. Armed with her unicorn soft toy and her pink teddy which smells of lavender, and okay a huge suitcase packed full of new clothes, and is about the size of her, and two backpacks filled with toys and a bag of food to eat on the journey and while waiting for her flight.
Yes she did have a day of being a princess, and boy did she enjoy that. To see her at the party with the other kids, running about, dancing and playing games and generally acting as a fun loving energetic child of 6 years old, you could not not love this girl.
I was given an award, for the most success. She's gained a total of three quarters of a stone during her stay, and she's blossomed in looks and health and confidence.
When we got home, Ken arrived to take her case away, they had to be weighed and loaded onto the coach ready for them leaving at midnight. When she saw me bring her case downstairs she began to cry, and yes it did set me away. When she realised she was not leaving then she did settle down, especially when the kids returned home from their dad's. She had her bath as normal, and then asked for her hair to be put back into ringlets, as I'd curled it for her princess day. She truly did look so beautiful.
That's not me in that photo either, for those who keep thinking it is, I'm not that short. It's my daughter.
The kids were all fine until about quarter past 11. I'd allowed Adam and
Beth to stay up to say their goodbye's. They were watching the little mermaid, singing along to the songs and having fun, then Adam just broke. He was sobbing so hard he could not speak. Seeing my 6 year old son cry like that, well you can guess how that set a chain reaction off, Beth crying and Yaroslava sitting holding Adam, stroking his hair, and me holding all three. Adam just did not want her to leave. When it was time for her to go, they held onto each other for so long. But she was happy. She said Goodbye in English and her smile was radiant. She is one very special little girl and I wish her the best of luck and pray she remains as confident and she is now.
Well, I agreed to keep this diary because of several goaters who wanted to know exactly what was involved in hosting and I hope in doing so it has created some interest and brings about more host families for these children. There are so many who need care and who need to get out of the situation they are in. The effects on them are immense in such a short time.
I have agreed to try and keep an account of this years hosting of a child effected by the Chernobyl disaster, can't promise to keep it fully up to date as I could never be bothered in keeping a diary.
The only details as to the child which I have so far is that, they are from the south east of the Ukraine and I pick them up from Newcastle airport on the 9th July, and they'll be here for three weeks and not the normal four.
I have to attend a meeting held by the charity on May 21st where hopefully I'll be given details of the child, name, age, sex, illnesses and address. At least then I should be able to contact the child's family, introduce myself and strike up some form of contact so the child is not coming into as much of an alien surrounding.
I have been told tonight, by phone, that another host family have volunteered to care for my host child whilst I'm at work, luckily I'll only be at work for one week during my time as I'd booked in two weeks off.
Okay update 21st May
Went to the meeting tonight to find out about the child I'll be hosting, only got barest details so far.
A girl named Najda aged 6 years old. She's an orphan and lived in an orphanage in the Ukraine for two years, now lives with her grandmother and two sisters and a note made about her home life, not very well cared for and is a good girl, outgoing.
I've someone coming out to see me at home, sign forms and basically check the sleeping and living arrangements within the next week.
It happens that my niece gets married on the 21st July, during the hosting period, so I have a fantastic excuse to buy pretty dresses for a little girl, for the wedding of course, oh and shoes, must have shoes. Ok I admit, we'll be hitting the shops as soon as possible with her and spending mad amounts on new clothes for her, and shoes
The day she arrives is the 9th July, which is also my son's 6th birthday, it's going to be like having twins for a bit, two six year olds in the house.
I don't have a picture yet of her but as soon as I do I'll post it up.
June 20th
Been to a meeting tonight and learnt that even though her name is written down as Najda Yaraslova, they write the surname first so she's actually called Yaraslova. And she speaks no English, so I'm going to have to think up some ways to communicate with her apart from charades and flash cards
July 9th
I picked Yaraslova up this evening. She was absolutely terrified, nervous, crying and just not knowing what to expect. I don't speak her language, she does not speak mine, so having to try and give reassurance without speech is a bit difficult. She came home with me and just looked so lost, she's 6, very very slim, blonde haired and so pale, she just looks delicate and fragile. She had one bag with her, a school bag sized back pack, one dress, one pair of trousers, a couple of tops, couple of cardigans, tights and underwear, that's it, and that's also about her entire wardrobe.
She may be small and delicate to look at, but good god can she be loud, very much a typical 6 year old. Ok the fact that we spent quite a bit of time having a balloon fight, and blowing party blowers and making oodles of noise may have something to do with that, but at least she relaxed. Now she's in bed snoring her head off, been a very long and stressful day for the little lass, so it's great to see her sleep so sound.
And ok ok I have to admit, George at Asda have a big sale on, so she does have a quite a large selection of clothes already here, not my fault it's the fact that the clothes were so cheap and too much of a bargain. Going to take her out tomorrow and get her some trainers though and more shoes, she's only got the one pair, a girl with one pair of shoes, surely that's breaking a law of fashion somewhere.
I have taken photos of her, and as soon as I figure out how to get them onto my computer and on here I shall do so. At the moment they are on my phone.
Only problem is communication so I'm trying to find pictures to have as flash cards, that way we can have some understanding about needs. But we've managed tonight at least. And she is absolutely beautiful.
12th July
Not had much time for anything at the moment so this is first chance to update since Monday. Right, Tuesday, I dropped my kids off at school, and then took her into the local market town to go clothes shopping. Once she realised the clothes I was looking at were for her, she really got down to business. I'd see something, hold it up against her to check the size, and then hold it out for her to see, then I'd look at her while I nodded or shook my head, she quickly picked up that I wanted her to say yes or no if she wanted it. We ended up with several bags of clothes, a pair of trainers and some fancy shoes, oh and princess dress up set. She loves pink fluffy girly things. I still have to buy her a dress for next weekend, as we are going to my nieces wedding.
While we were in town, she came across some automatic doors, she got really excited over them opening on their own. I showed her how to flush the toilet, she showed me some toilet paper in the bowl so I nodded and pointed tot he handle, then flushed. She kept going into the toilet after that and all you'd hear was a flush going again and again. Showed her how to use a soap pump dispenser, she loves washing her hands and smelling the soap. Oh and an aeroplane flew over quite low, which got a big reaction from her, dragging me outside to see it as she pointed and chattered away then running round with her arms out making aeroplane noises, I'm guessing she was saying how she'd been on one. Wonder what she'll make of the jets that come over.
I had a little bit of trouble at first getting her to eat. I asked the translator what food she was used to, thinking maybe I could I make something similar. Turns out she has only recently left the orphanage to go and live with her grandmother, who is very poor. She normally has one meal a day, of a water based soup. Carrots, swede, cabbage and potato boiled in water, that's the soup. Personally, I throw the water away when I boil the veg, so actually having that as a meal is a very strange idea to me. Now she does eat, everything I give her, everything in sight almost. Hopefully by the end of the three weeks she'll have gained a good amount of weight, she certainly needs to.
She's already showing her confidence and independence. I'm amazed that a little girl can have so little, and to have gone through so much trauma already, and yet still be able to have so much confidence. She's very wary of strangers still, to the point of clinging to me if someone comes to the door.
13th July
Ok lets see if this can be brought right up to present time. Wednesday she went swimming with the group. Had a little bit of trouble getting her to go with the charity leader. She actually ran from the living room, past me, I was washing up the breakfast dishes in the kitchen, and hid in the back porch, all because she saw Gwen coming to the front door. She started crying as she did not want to go with Gwen. I said in Ukrainian that she was going swimming, but she did not understand. I thought it was my very bad attempt at her language, so Gwen phoned the translator instead. As it turned out, Yaraslova was scared that Gwen had come to take her back home and she did not understand me as she'd never heard of swimming before. She's never seen a swimming pool. Once she was told she would be only gone for the day and then back home to me she was all smiles again and went without any further trouble. She was absolutely shattered when she got back. Apparently she saw the pool and just ran and jumped straight in, came up spluttering a bit but had a lot of fun.
Thursday she went out with the group again to an ostrich farm over by Alston followed by a picnic at a farm where they rode on cows and milked sheep (no I have not mixed them up by mistake). I could not go as I was work again. I'd made her a packed lunch, put more than enough in for her, as I like to give my kids a snack at about 10am of different types of fruit and cheese so I'd included those foods in her lunch too. I expected to find a lot of the food uneaten, mainly due to the amount in her pack and that the trip was followed by the picnic. I was amazed when all that came back was half a cheese sandwich. I thought the food problems were all done and she was eating.
Then this morning came, Friday. We got up at 6am as usual, got her and my kids dressed for school, then made breakfast. They normally have cereal first followed by toast and jam with fresh orange juice. This morning I gave her the bowl of cereal and she said no and pushed it away. I thought ok will just try the toast, she turned that away too and instead had the orange juice and a banana with some grapes. he's eaten the cereal fine all week, this was the first morning I'd tried her with the toast as well, thought I'd build her up to having more as the week went on. Then one of the other host mothers turned up about 7:45 with Anya, a 9 year old girl, she does speak some English. Enough to tell us that they are Orthodox and so do not eat dairy on Fridays. I did not know, but now I do, so no milk etc on a Friday.
Anya had come to mine as her host mum was at work today, as was I, however my 6 year old sons school had agreed to take both Yaraslova and Anya for the day. They thought it would be a good experience for them both and the other school children. Anya was fine going to school, Yaraslova was fine until I led her to the school gates, then she froze. It took quite a bit of coaxing to get her to come into the school and even more to lead her to the classroom. I called work and said I'd be a bit late. Eventually with the use of a handy Russian phrase book (Anya speaks fluent Russian and translated the Russian to Yaraslova) we explained that I would be returning later for them both, and she'd be able to paint and draw and play games, and go on the computer. My kids have had her playing on the cbeebies website games and PBS kids games, I think she's hooked now as every time I turn the computer on she runs to my side, or just sits in front of the computer waiting for me to turn it on. Anyway, we got her into the classroom and sat down with the other kids, gave her a kiss goodbye and then spent all day at work worried about her, expecting a phone call to say she needed to go home etc. When I picked them up at 3, she ran out of school, massive smile, gave me a huge hug and then showed me all the paintings she'd done, the headmistress had called her and Anya up on the stage during assembly and given them a special head teachers award for coming to school, and everyone had made a general fuss over them. She'd loved it. She does not seem the same girl anymore. She even looks different now, only a few days and she's so confident and smiling all the time, even singing and dancing. She's managed a few English words, Thank you, hello and goodbye, She's correcting me on pronouncing Ukrainian, and she giggles when I get it wrong.
She loves Cartoons, watches tom and jerry, road runner and bugs bunny. She's not bothered too much about dolls, likes Barbie, but she adores my little pony. Beth, my 11 year old has given her all her my little ponies as she's grown out of them, and she gave Anya all her Bratz dolls and accessories.
17th July
Been really busy over the last few days, a couple of problems cropped up with Yaroslava. Firstly on Saturday. I had to go to work so I'd arranged for her to stay with a couple who live near by, the translator and her daughter were staying there too for the weekend, so at least she'd be able to chat in her own dialect and be understood. I know she enjoyed herself there, and visited Durham with them, the cathedral etc. When she came home on the night she was a bit grouchy, which I put down to being tired, so she got ready for bed and went to sleep without a problem. Then about midnight i heard some very loud bangs coming from her bedroom. I went in to check on her and she was body rolling very violently back and forth and banging herself off the wall. She was still asleep whilst doing this. I woke her and settled her again, and then within ten minutes she was doing it again. I put her mattress on the floor as I was worried she'd either fall out of bed or really hurt herself on the wall, or both. She did not seem aware of doing it the next morning, was her usual cheery self. She spent the day with the same couple on Sunday, from 8:30am til 9pm as again I was at work, and she was shattered when I got her home. The same thing happened that night too. Monday she was like a different kid. Very moody, trying to push all boundaries, just general naughtiness really, some of it typical 6 year old antics, some not. Again Monday night, the same sleep episodes.
I contacted the translator today as I wanted to know if she had a history of RMD (rhythmic movement disorder) or was this a new thing brought on by all the change. Turns out yes she does have a history of it. Began in the orphanage, and some times she has an episode every night, other times she won't have one for a week or more. I've got the mattress on the floor at the moment so she's not disturbed during the night, she sleeps through all the episodes, and she's not near a wall and can't fall out of bed. I did that last night too, and today she her normal self again. Eating fine, polite, playing with the other kids no problem. She's been playing on the computer tonight, mainly sonic and columns. I have a kiddies V Tech console I'm setting up for her. Hopefully she won't have an episode tonight.
While the translator was here tonight I asked if Yaroslava had any questions for me. I was surprised by the one she did ask. Can she go to school again tomorrow. I guess she really did enjoy it. So yes she'll be attending school again.
I've asked for her home address, her grandmothers, as we are making up a parcel to send. Photos of what she's done, where she's been, clothes and gifts ect. We've been told not to send anything expensive as things have a habit of disappearing out there.
18th July
This photo was taken on my phone this morning. I think she looks so different from when she first arrived a week and a half ago, and much happier too. She is a beautiful little girl.
22nd July
A pattern has been noticed between Yaroslava's sleep episodes and her activities during the day, or more who she does the activities with. I'd noticed that when she spends a full day with me, she sleeps well and her RMD is almost non existent, after a couple of days with me, she has no RMD, however, if she spends a day away from me, with the rest of the group, she has an extremely restless night and violent episodes of RMD. I brought this to the attention of the charity leaders, who have since agreed with me on this, so she has not attended any of the organised trips recently. That's not to say she's just been sitting idle.
Thursday I took and the kids to a fun fair, organised by my 11 year old daughters school as part of their graduation ceremony. Yes, Junior school now has graduation. She loved it. Went on several of the rides, spinning tea cups was her favourite. She also sat and had her face painted by a clown, she wanted to be a daisy.
Friday I took her horse riding. She had a very placid horse called Bailey, though her horse was led by a girl, while I rode beside her. She wants pictures of everything, as this will be the only trip of this kind for her, she wants pictures of her events for her memories. She loved the horse riding, and with signing to each other we were able to communicate quite well what was needed for her do. Her understanding of sign language is coming along very well, and she's managing to ask for things and explain what she wants much easier now.
Saturday was the wedding of my eldest niece, Rachel. I'd bought her a special dress, and shoes and ribbons and beads for her hair, she loves having her hair done all girly. She truly looked like a princes. I was a bit worried how she'd cope with being amongst so many strangers as she is still very timid around new faces. I need not have worried, she was in her element. At first she would not move from my side, but then curiosity got the better of her and she began to mingle a bit. The only children there was a young girl who was bridesmaid and Yaroslava. She lavished in the attention she got. My other worry was how she'd cope with the three course sit down meal, again, no worries. When she was served her food, she looked to me and I signed what the food was, and she did eat, without problem. She can still be shy of any food she's unsure of, with trying new things, but she put all that aside and just enjoyed herself. The only thing she did get upset about was when she tried to eat a table decoration before I could tell her it was not edible. From her reaction the taste was foul. Each table had a disposable camera, and she played photographer for the day, taking so many pictures, signing for people to pose for her, wandering around, without me by her side but always in sight, and approaching people and interacting with them. Even posing with people herself, allowing them to sit next to her and she even hugged some people when it was time to leave. I was in total awe of her on Saturday, her confidence is in extremes now.
Today, Sunday, we've had a lazy day. Normally I work 14hr shifts on a Sunday, but on holiday at the moment so able to spend my time with her. My kids have been away with their dad since Friday night, not to return until Sunday evening. I took the chance to cook a proper Sunday roast dinner, and again she ate very well, even foods she's previously turned down. She loves Yorkshire puddings and corn on the cob. She even managed to have jelly afterwards but then said she was full so laid down for a bit. When she was active again, I put the bouncy castle up in the back garden, she loved that and again kept calling for photos to be taken of her. She even trying new fruits now too, kiwi fruit, papaya, mango as well as her favourites. She loves banana's and melon, grapes, oranges, apples, most fruits actually.
She was weighed when she first arrived, she weighed all of 2 and a half stone on arrival. Age six and that's all she weighs. My 2 year old weighs around about that much. She was weighed Wednesday night, she was 3 stone. A week and a half and she has put on half a stone. I hope she can continue at that rate. She has filled out in her face, she's not as sallow now, not sunken or dark under the eyes, smiles constantly, and does not look as fragile. She looks more like a normal healthy little girl now.
When she first arrived I'd bought a pair of pyjamas ready for her first night, they were so baggy around the waist I had to tie a ribbon round them just to stop them from falling down. After her bath tonight I put the pyjamas on her and was going to tie the ribbon round again when I saw that the trousers now fit her perfectly. She really is filling out fast.
25th July
On Monday she did have a day out with the rest of the group. The charity leader and I had a long discussion about Yaroslava, and we decided that since she'd had several days with only me, we'd now give a group activity a try. She went to a sea life centre and then had a picnic on the beach. The night before she went I packed up a bag for her to take, explaining everything I was putting in, towel, bathing suit hat, disposable camera etc. She loves taking photos and I asked her to take lots of photos of the beach. She adores the Disney film The Little Mermaid, she watches it after her bath every night, and at least now, instead of watching it two or three times a night, she will then ask for the sequel to be put on. She loves stories of a girl who becomes a princess and lives happily ever after, she loves dressing up as a princess, though her favourite is Ariel, anything mermaid related. So going to a sea life centre and the beach was like a dream for her. She was shattered when she came home, and the first thing she asked for was to watch The Little Mermaid. She had no RMD that night, and she has not done since last Wednesday. I've used Lavender scents in her bath and bedroom since Thursday, and she's had full rest full nights since then.
Tuesday we went out to market and into town buying gifts to take home to her sisters and grandmother. Allwoman had come to visit us on Monday, staying for a couple of days, spoiling her but mostly marvelling at how much food this little girl can put away. Even just a week ago, Yaroslava would hide from visitors and strangers, yet now, there's a stranger in the house and she just accepted and interacted with her. She is still timid when faced with several at any one time, as when she returned home on Monday she walked in the house and was faced with my mother, Allwoman and Steve's wife and two daughters, as they have come to visit too, also my 15 year old niece had stayed with me from Saturday until Monday. I've had quite a house full lately.
She's out on a trip again today. Before going I did have some strong words with the translator. I disagreed very strongly with her attitude towards Yaroslava. I'm not known for being very tactful or subtle, and this time I did not attempt to be either. As far as I'm concerned, Yaroslava is with me, therefore my responsibility and part of my family.
27th July
I think we may have a slight little problem. Tried several suitcases and all are far too small. The big one on wheels I have is about the same size as her, she'd easily fit inside it, mind so would I but that's not the point. The big one is packed full just with the clothes I've bought her, we still have her new toys and her shoes to try and fit in. It's not even got all her clothes in yet either as she has washing hanging outside to dry. We've managed to fit some of her favourite toys into the bag she came with, that's going to be used as her hand luggage. She has so many things now I don't know how we're going to fit it all in. I also think it's almost at the maximum weight limit, oops. Well we have until Sunday night to try and figure it out.
Took her and the kids to Hamsterly forest today, had planned on staying there for the day but my ex phoned when we were on our way and said he was heading over to pick the kids up early. They did get to run amongst the trees and play in the river and on the big wooden play area. Bought some gifts in the forestry shop too. It's so easy to forget now that there are still many things she's never seen or experienced, and yet she accepts all the new things and kind find so much enjoyment in the simplest things. Though one major problem did arise, she likes squirrels, she will learn how wrong that is.
She's excited about going home, was running round and helping me pack her things, but then she'd close the lid on the case and shake her head and hug me. So we'd come downstairs again, leaving the case on my bed and we sat and watched Cinderella again. She loves the Disney films of the poor girl who found her prince and lived happily ever after. I really do wish she finds her own fairy tale. I'm finding it hard now that it's nearly time for her to leave. I know I'll not see her again, and i'm aware that keeping contact will be mainly one sided, sending out parcels etc, whether they actually reach her is another matter. I just hope she's happy when she goes back, but at least she'll not be returning to the orphanage.
29th July
It's Sunday, and our last day with Yaroslava. She is picked up tonight at midnight to be driven down to Gatwick, by coach, with the ten other children who arrived with her. She flies out to Kiev early Monday morning, then driven to Chernigov to be with her Grandmother. She's not wanted to go anywhere this weekend or do anything. She's spent her time between watching all her favourite Disney DVD's, playing in the garden and basically just enjoying being at home.
There's a party today at 4pm til 6pm, a mixture of a leaving party and a birthday party, as Olena, one of the other girls, will be 10 the day after tomorrow. As Yaroslava is so in love with the idea of princess stories, she'll be dressed as one at the party. Beth has a Princess style costume, which is too small for her now. It fits Yaroslava just about, so what better way to have her last day than as a fairy tale princess.
I have managed to pack her things now, I think it's within the weight limit, though some things I am having to chance posting out to her, fingers crossed they reach her.
Sunday night
She's gone. When she left, she was a very happy little girl, a normal little girl. Armed with her unicorn soft toy and her pink teddy which smells of lavender, and okay a huge suitcase packed full of new clothes, and is about the size of her, and two backpacks filled with toys and a bag of food to eat on the journey and while waiting for her flight.
Yes she did have a day of being a princess, and boy did she enjoy that. To see her at the party with the other kids, running about, dancing and playing games and generally acting as a fun loving energetic child of 6 years old, you could not not love this girl.
I was given an award, for the most success. She's gained a total of three quarters of a stone during her stay, and she's blossomed in looks and health and confidence.
When we got home, Ken arrived to take her case away, they had to be weighed and loaded onto the coach ready for them leaving at midnight. When she saw me bring her case downstairs she began to cry, and yes it did set me away. When she realised she was not leaving then she did settle down, especially when the kids returned home from their dad's. She had her bath as normal, and then asked for her hair to be put back into ringlets, as I'd curled it for her princess day. She truly did look so beautiful.
That's not me in that photo either, for those who keep thinking it is, I'm not that short. It's my daughter.
The kids were all fine until about quarter past 11. I'd allowed Adam and
Beth to stay up to say their goodbye's. They were watching the little mermaid, singing along to the songs and having fun, then Adam just broke. He was sobbing so hard he could not speak. Seeing my 6 year old son cry like that, well you can guess how that set a chain reaction off, Beth crying and Yaroslava sitting holding Adam, stroking his hair, and me holding all three. Adam just did not want her to leave. When it was time for her to go, they held onto each other for so long. But she was happy. She said Goodbye in English and her smile was radiant. She is one very special little girl and I wish her the best of luck and pray she remains as confident and she is now.
Well, I agreed to keep this diary because of several goaters who wanted to know exactly what was involved in hosting and I hope in doing so it has created some interest and brings about more host families for these children. There are so many who need care and who need to get out of the situation they are in. The effects on them are immense in such a short time.
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