Thank you Buphoonery and Biggles, with regards to "pull up a sandbag" stories, I might have . At my eldest daughters wedding, My daughter, my wife and my mother kept bugging me about seeing my speech as they thought they were going to be embarrassed by this old (drunken) fart with his 'when I was in the RAF war stories' or the 'my daughter and I never got on speech' but decided I would wing it with possibly the shortest dads speech "I know some of you are expecting to sleep now while I pull up a sandbag, but I just want to thank you all for celebrating my daughters wedding and to raise your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom", I then sat down to a stunned silence it was a clasic moment.