Hello

[huffington.bombhead]

Ex long-haired, hairy-arsed plumber. 15 years before the flag and twice before the station commander. Long hair utterly gone, hairy arse still the cause of hushed conversation at the regular Naked Baby Oil Twister parties we have here.

My career peaked when I picked up the Corporal DI's dropped pace stick as I got off the bus at Swinderby, and can only be considered as 'unremarkable' from then on, even by the charitable amongst you.

Some of my best failures were achieved at famous, long-forgotten and since reclaimed by nature places such as Cnigsby Dump, Wildparts, Coshford, Shawburgh, Scumpton, Goose Bye and Night-Mareham. There were others, but I forget. Philosophers call these 'details, unimportant to the present - mere interludes in the journey of life'. I call them 'detachments'.

I am call Night-Mareham this name because she I find whore and less liking than all other place. I am therefore award it an enjoyablement rating of minus 7 billion.

I was there when:

Many troops spent several tea breaks sat with shovels next to mole-hills waiting to "smack the little f****ers heads in" as per the orders of an almost certainly insane Slight Fergeant who probably went on to be a Wobbly Orange but without the 'almost certainly' codicil attached to the 'insane' bit. Who knows?

See above, but change the bit about shovels and molehills for: paint grass outside AGSE with IRR green because it was spotted with Eau de Nile and Oxford Blue.

Thousands of people servicing phantoms near a quaint town in Deutschland were tapped on the shoulder sent to the gulags. Well, there were 11. I think.

A Toom got its first confirmed Jaguar kill.

Sergeant Fletcher almost blew up due to wrong kind of close-proximity fire.

The BBC filmed a disasterous Phantom Canadian Roll.

Live 20mm rounds were turned into souveniers and porridge was served.
​

I don't even want to begin with what happened after my fitter's course.

Take care.

 

[gemarriott]

welcome mate, you'll fit right in.

 

[Hu Jardon]

Thousands of people servicing phantoms near a quaint town in Deutschland were tapped on the shoulder sent to the gulags. Well, there were 11. I think.

A Toom got its first confirmed Jaguar kill.

Sergeant Fletcher almost blew up due to wrong kind of close-proximity fire.

The BBC filmed a disasterous Phantom Canadian Roll.

Live 20mm rounds were turned into souveniers and porridge was served.
​

I don't even want to begin with what happened after my fitter's course.

Take care.

I was in Wild Parts Missile City during all of that - I also spent a fair amount of time at many of the other places you mentioned too...........

Welcome to e-goat mate

Hu

 

[Talk Wrench]

Great intro. What Squadron were you on?

 

[The Stig A.D.I.]

Welcome, HB!

Exactly the kind of humour we need on here - be sure to stick around!!!

DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[Hu Jardon]

Great intro. What Squadron were you on?

Well the one's caught fookin about with the 20mm rounds had Cobras in the song they sang in their corner of the Mally.......................

 

[mild mannered janitor]

best intro iv'e read in ages DT_Xtremez_30:

 

[huffington.bombhead]

My work here is done.

My work here is done.

Thank you all for your kind comments, I'd be blushing if I knew how.

Talk Wrench asked which squadron I was on and Hu answered you (good for Hu) - I was a Cobra, that's 92 (East India) Squadron - a Phantom FGRII air defence squadron for any admin zobs reading this. A squadron is the pointy bit at the front of an air force - again, for any zobs on here. My throat is still sore from singing "the flag flies high on the masthead" to the local German thugs as loudly and as oftenly as we could. Happy Days Herr Flick.

As for the 20mm rounds being turned into military dildos, that was one person - everyone was in the dark about it until all the plumbers were called into the aircrew hard and subjected to Guantanamo Bay interrogation techniques. No names, no packdrill, but the chap involved got 28 days and was promoted almost immediately after he had eaten his porridge.

The jolly jape was only discovered in the first place when a filling cabinet containing thunderflashes, blank rounds and BFA's, (all 'liberated' fairly and squarely from a secret MU located somewhere nearby), was moved to sweep the floor in the armourers basha and 14 tons of cannon round propellant covered the broom-wielding baby-plumbers boots as it fell out from behind said cabinet. Surprisingly, the court martial didn't see the funny side. That's because there wasn't one I guess. A funny side I mean.

If I'd have known that Bin Laden's ACME bomb cache was within a foot of me all that time, I don't think I'd have gone ahead with building 'The Device'. If the man concerned happens to see this, $500 in a brown envelope should do the trick Mr L.

Jeeez, sorry chaps, I talk too much. I'll get me coat
x

(Settle down, one kiss is perfectly acceptable on the interwebnet you homophobic sods).