Liney Legends

[Talk Wrench]

The shineys seem to be getting all hard and loved up over some old gits who were able to staple more than 3 sheets of paper together in one go.

So, name the bezzest lineys ever to serve in the RAF and who only graced PSF / HR (or whatever b0llocks it is now) when they were getting charged or dragging a shiney tw@t over the desk for fcking up his pay.


Tatty T****m has to be one of the best. When he turned up for his fitters course in 1991, he only had the proper dark blue shirts and was bawled out by the discip for turning up looking ..............um..............like a liney.

"Wear a dark blue shirt tomorrow and i'll fcukin fizz you all the way back to NY" said the discip.

Next day, Tatty turns up with only a RAF pullover on, minus Wedgie blue shirt.

Discip goes feckin ape.

Tatty looks at the discip directly in the eye and says. " stores 'ant got any shirts my size, and I didn't want to be charged for wearing a dark blue, so I didn't put one on."



NAILS.

TW

 

[RAF Bird]

The shineys seem to be getting all hard and loved up over some old gits who were able to staple more than 3 sheets of paper together in one go.

So, name the bezzest lineys ever to serve in the RAF and who only graced PSF / HR (or whatever b0llocks it is now) when they were getting charged or dragging a shiney tw@t over the desk for fcking up his pay.


Tatty T****m has to be one of the best. When he turned up for his fitters course in 1991, he only had the proper dark blue shirts and was bawled out by the discip for turning up looking ..............um..............like a liney.

"Wear a dark blue shirt tomorrow and i'll fcukin fizz you all the way back to NY" said the discip.

Next day, Tatty turns up with only a RAF pullover on, minus Wedgie blue shirt.

Discip goes feckin ape.

Tatty looks at the discip directly in the eye and says. " stores 'ant got any shirts my size, and I didn't want to be charged for wearing a dark blue, so I didn't put one on."



NAILS.

TW

Ha ha ha ha ha thats absolutely brilliant. I'm sat here nearly p1ssing myself (I said nearly) reading that.

I really am pretty sure that they feed you techy types something at Tossland cos you all (well most of you) seem to have some sort of screw loose!

 

[Talk Wrench]

Ha ha ha ha ha thats absolutely brilliant. I'm sat here nearly p1ssing myself (I said nearly) reading that.

I really am pretty sure that they feed you techy types something at Tossland cos you all (well most of you) seem to have some sort of screw loose!

That was at Halton, when it was No 1 SofTT a couple of years before it became RTC.

And there's more DT_Xtremez_19:

TW

 

[Tin basher]

Harry the bog - SAC liney got his fitters course in 1979/80 after 12 years in the mob, drank like a fish and could party hard all weekend and still go to work on time. Why Harry the Bog because in the 12 years he had served he had been to 28 different countries got p!ssed in them all and barfed in the bog in every single one of them. Taught me alot he did, way back then.

 

[gemarriott]

Curly Warren, escort on a court martialmarched the accused to the mess for lunch via the Pigs bar and ended up in the cells himself.

 

[Hot Shoes]

Maybe late '86???, went on my phantom liney course to coningsby. Seen a liney LAC on the OCU, remembered him don't remember why???

Year or so later went on exercise to Leuchars, sharing a line with the OCU, met aforementioned liney, still an LAC, thought it strange. A legend not only on the OCU but further south.

And before you ask, don’t know all the stories but “old” 10 pence pieces and foreskins seem to be one of his specialities

 

[gemarriott]

Maybe late '86???, went on my phantom liney course to coningsby. Seen a liney LAC on the OCU, remembered him don't remember why???

Year or so later went on exercise to Leuchars, sharing a line with the OCU, met aforementioned liney, still an LAC, thought it strange. A legend not only on the OCU but further south.

And before you ask, don’t know all the stories but “old” 10 pence pieces and foreskins seem to be one of his specialities

Fcuk me he wasn't still pulling that stunt in 86DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[MontyPlumbs]

Carpet Carl - caught, funnily enough, fcuking the sh1t out of a roll of carpet in the baggage rooms of the block one night - legend!

Others I'd like to mention but may very well frequent this site, so best to keep quiet I think!

 

[dickweed]

A mate of mine called Phil Owen, when we arrived at Halton for our fitters course in Feb 86 we spent the usual 4 hours being briefed to death by the discip before being told we had a bull night that night and we all had to make bed packs to put with our full kit layout the next morning.

Non of us had made a bed pack for years so Phil went out into the corridor and grabbed the nearest smally and pulled him into the room; then threw the kid on his back on the table and sucked the kids eyeball untill it felt to the kid like it was coming out.

When the kid was screaming loud enough, Phil let the kid up and asked him if he could make a bed pack. When the kid said yes, Phil said to him 16 of them then please. Next morning the snec comes around to inspect and the first person in our room that he speaks to is Phil, the conversation goes abit like

Snec "Whats your name"
Phil "Owen"
Snec "Owen What?"
Phil "Owing nothing, I paid all my debts before I left Germany"

How we didnt p1ss ourselves right there and then I will never know

 

[doc670]

Don't assume etc

Don't assume etc

Mick ...... sooty at Leuchars in mid seventies broke his specs on the line one morning so he asks chiefy Harry, ' can I go home and fetch my spare set ?', Harry says OK. Two days later Mick reappears and Harry says -
' weraf*k 'ave you been ? '
' ome to get me specs '
' doesn't take you two days to get your specs from home '
' fcukin does if you live in Bodmin '

 

[K9 FORNICATOR]

'Doctor Death!'

'Doctor Death!'

Arriving in Germany late 80's there was a liney 'Doctor Death' living legend he was but only just! For all those that know Tonkers he attempted to squeeze 180 bar of nitrogen into the canopy inflation seal bottle that held 6 bar, thinking it was the undercarriage emergency blow-down bottle. Nearly made it when said bottle exploded writing off the undercarriage bay.

 

[Jim_P_Pulfrew]

Was this the geezer who practically blew his hand off on 27 at Marham doing this? I was on 6 foot at the time and it got us an early minival endex. We heard someone got in a whole world of pain, as he applied a tourniquet when it wasn't allowed, even though it stopped the boy bleeding to death.

Jimps

 

[K9 FORNICATOR]

Was this the geezer who practically blew his hand off on 27 at Marham doing this? I was on 6 foot at the time and it got us an early minival endex. We heard someone got in a whole world of pain, as he applied a tourniquet when it wasn't allowed, even though it stopped the boy bleeding to death.

Jimps

I believe the incident was indeed at Marham, never any mention of anyone getting injured apart from severe shock and temporary deafness. May possibly have been 'blown up out of proportion!' Sorry Jimps couldn't resist! Bits of the damaged aircraft nosebay were used by TGSS as training aids for years afterwards.

 

[Exlineswine]

I believe the incident was indeed at Marham, never any mention of anyone getting injured apart from severe shock and temporary deafness. May possibly have been 'blown up out of proportion!' Sorry Jimps couldn't resist! Bits of the damaged aircraft nosebay were used by TGSS as training aids for years afterwards.

It was TWCU at Honington around 87/88, I was Cpl ic graveyard shift that night (it happened early morning) and will never forget his immortal words to me, HIM: 'Corp, I think I'm in the ****' ME(after viewing his handwork) 'Yep, you surely are'.

 

[burglar]

Was this the geezer who practically blew his hand off on 27 at Marham doing this? I was on 6 foot at the time and it got us an early minival endex. We heard someone got in a whole world of pain, as he applied a tourniquet when it wasn't allowed, even though it stopped the boy bleeding to death.

Jimps

That's the version I heard just before I went to 27 from XV in 87.

 

[Shugster]

Gaz Walker

Gaz Walker

Gaz "Spaceman" Walker (RIP)...

Was boning the Tbar wench, feeder wench and MT WRAF snec DT_Xtremez_14:

He boned the MT WRAF again in Turkey and she got sent home. DT_Xtremez_30:

Caught by Harry staish doing donuts in a Unimog between two jets and received a worse bollock1ng for his other "antics".

A brilliant bloke who sadly died last year, but those memories still tickle me to this day.

 

[Doglover]

It was TWCU at Honington around 87/88, I was Cpl ic graveyard shift that night (it happened early morning) and will never forget his immortal words to me, HIM: 'Corp, I think I'm in the ****' ME(after viewing his handwork) 'Yep, you surely are'.

Yep, remember that morning well, he was a gormless git though. One of the many ''incidents'' at TWCU. Dropping concrete thousand pounders on the line and an APU spitting blades through a fuel tank during a see off caused total chaos along the line, nice windy day to fan the flames. Happy days though and a great workforce.

 

[Realist78]

Yep, remember that morning well, he was a gormless git though. One of the many ''incidents'' at TWCU. Dropping concrete thousand pounders on the line and an APU spitting blades through a fuel tank during a see off caused total chaos along the line, nice windy day to fan the flames. Happy days though and a great workforce.

No 10 tank I believe and sorted soon after that by the containment shield around the APU.DT_Xtremez_19:

 

[olliepop]

Sac who we aptly named Dick'a dummy... Top lad but couldn't pass the CCS first aid so, they decided to let him borrow a resusci annie doll to practice his CPR on. We got back from the Gadaffi to find him half naked with his C*ck in poor annies mouth!! Hence his nickname...........
Unfortunately, he was asked to return the dummy the next day as it was needed for a first aid role play thingy involving spaceys (true gen)!
I have NEVER been able to do CCS first aid since, without using about 50 steri wipes BEFORE I go anywhere near the mouth!!

Also so said liney managed to 'tap off' with a WRAF in the Gadaffi... Absolutely blazing, he went back to her room. Did the deed and fell asleep... Only to be rudely awaken by screaming WRAF in the morning... Turns out he went for a pee in the early hours of the morning........ In her underwear drawer. Opening up the drawer to get her fresh knickers on for work she found most of them floating in pee!!

Legend!!

 

[Sad git]

July 82, Stanley airfield … It’s cold and we are generally wearing, among many other layers, a one piece quilted ski suits that we had been issue when last out in Norway. We are living at the side of the runway in tents and life is pretty basic.

I’m under the wing of a Harrier and a FLM is banging about up above me.
All of a sudden I hear a groan from above …

TT … “Oh no..”
Me … “What’s up T** T** ?”
TT … “I’ve Sh1t myself !”
Me … “Laugh … What you going to do ?”
TT … “Well I might as well finish this BF now I’ve started it.”