Thinking of joining, advice please (Family).

[Winwright]

Hey guys, I'm thinking of joining the RAF as a Regiment Gunner.

This idea has not been met with open arms by my partner, as she seems concerned and worried by the idea.

Some information about us; We have been together for about 7 years now and engaged for over a year, we have two young children, aged 3 and 1. We also currently live in a flat together, close to my parents and about an hour or so from her parents. The first few years of our relationship was a distant relationship with us both living at our parents and seeing each other at weekends etc, this changed a few months after my first child was born. Neither of us currently drive, and we are planning to get married around the end of the year. Also, we're both fairly young, in our early 20's.

Her main concerns are probably quite common to most partners, with concerns about not seeing me regularly and my children missing me.

She doesn't appear to want to move to an SFA, because this will be even further away from her and my parents, who we normally see at the weekends in our current situation (we currently live in South East Kent).

I'm unsure of how to approach the situation, this is something I want to do, and I do believe down the line this would be a good decision for us as a family, but from her response I am beginning to feel selfish.

Any advice anybody can give?

 

[Humble Scribe]

If you want to be a Gunner and your wife want to stay in Kent then get used to separation because you will do all your training at Honington (Suffolk) and from there you will be assigned to a RAF Regt Field Sqn. At best you could go to 63 QCS Sqn at Northolt but at worst, 51 Sqn at Lossiemouth but this will be based on the service need at the time you pass out of training and the current Op cycle. You are very likely to go on an Op tour for 6 months within 12 months of passing out of Honington.

Clearly you can apply for service accomodation where you are based but having your own roots somewhere is thoroughly recommended as entitlement and cost of service accomodation will change in the coming years. Separation is never easy and a big decision for you all; just be sure you're all in it together rather than you chasing your own dream or it could end up going terribly wrong.

 

[vim_fuego]

If your partner isn't supportive and you actually like your partner then this move is probably not for you...Gunner training is tough and you'll need as few niggles as possible to worry about as your plate will very definitely be full of issues to do with training. If she doesn't want to follow you around then you'll at best spend most of your wages and time driving to and fro your flat and your posting and become very tired of 'clock watching' the minute you walk through the door of your home.

The RAF is very good at many things...One of these is breaking even the strongest marriages and relationships as it demands more effort from less people. If you start your career on rocky ground with your partner/wife there is only one way it'll end up...

 

[enginesuck]

Where from SE Kent are you ? My wife and I are from Deal, and we haven't looked back after leaving, I'm out now but we now choose to live in northern Scotland (where I was based for the majority of my career) if you can get her to give the RAF life a try it would be a step at least. Depends on how willing she is to give it a go. Good luck with whatever.

 

[Winwright]

Hey guys, thanks for all your replies.

I'm from Dover, so practically next to Deal.

Spoke a bit more about it this evening, some positives from the conversation, so I'll try to expand on them benefits.

Is the SFA process relatively straight forward?

Cheers

 

[enginesuck]

If youre married its very simple.

 

[vim_fuego]

Good selling points about being married in the RAF are that your married quarter tends to be as cheap as chips...I've been out almost two years now and haven't used a quarter since 2007 on a London posting but even then in the affluent area of Pinner I was only paying about £120 a month for a huge 3 bed house with a garden that took me a couple of hours to mow (no exaggeration). Very posting dependent but sometimes the spouses can use the on camp medical services which are a lot less stretched than most NHS practices...They can use whatever fitness facilities are on camp which these days tend to be pretty good. She can attempt to gain work just like before and many camps have creches/nurseries. If she is one for joining in then wives of a similar tendency tend to club together and do stuff from amateur dramatics to cycling to charity work of all flavours. If she was to allow the seed to germinate in her mind of you doing something like this then there are major financial and social benefits to be had.

Of course there is the fact that you are applying for a role that comes with risks...some high...some that will end your life...but they can be mitigated by looking at the statistics of numbers of rocks we have lost against numbers we have deployed. We train all our staff to be brilliant at their jobs, to be disciplined and knowledgeable in their roles and that's a major factor in staying safe.

I'm sure others that have served on here could highlight more benefits and activities that wives can benefit from whilst you serve...my wife wasn't a great mixer so I only have a limited knowledge of what they get up to!

 

[FOMz]

The current incumbant didnt want to follow me about, but she did (begrudgingly).. She got a part time job at one posting, which became a full time job... Which has turned into a fantastic career for her and shes onwards and upwards... So don't assume that you will ve the major bread winner either..

 

[muttywhitedog]

OP - What do you do for a living now?

Time away, poor pay, far from family, and whilst you'll learn fieldcraft and shooting, there are not that many transferrable skills for when your time is up.

As others have alluded to, life in the Regt isnt a great one, particularly for a young married man with 2 kids and an unsupportive spouse - most of your peers will be single 18yr olds, and you will be treated just like them.

 

[stereolab]

Joining Up

Joining Up

OP - What do you do for a living now?

Time away, poor pay, far from family, and whilst you'll learn fieldcraft and shooting, there are not that many transferrable skills for when your time is up.

As others have alluded to, life in the Regt isnt a great one, particularly for a young married man with 2 kids and an unsupportive spouse - most of your peers will be single 18yr olds, and you will be treated just like them.

You will find it a real struggle to keep all these balls in the air at once, and keep everyone happy. Basic training requires your full effort and your proposed trade choice currently means long detachments. On balance I would not recommend you join up. You may want to consider a commission however, as your use of English in your post is very good quality, and you make your points clearly and concisely.

 

[KingGuin]

OP - What do you do for a living now?

Time away, poor pay, far from family, and whilst you'll learn fieldcraft and shooting, there are not that many transferrable skills for when your time is up.

As others have alluded to, life in the Regt isnt a great one, particularly for a young married man with 2 kids and an unsupportive spouse - most of your peers will be single 18yr olds, and you will be treated just like them.

The course about to graduate from Honz has Master KG on it. At 21 he is one of the youngest; most of the guys are mid 20s with one early 30s and a couple ex Army. The training is more robust that some might think with almost 40% of the course chopped since the start. That aside, IMHO Regt Sqns have a better family support network than any other comparable organisation.

 

[Winwright]

Thanks for all your responses guys.

I currently work as a Senior Support Worker, in a home for individuals with very challenging behavior and varied learning difficulties, primarily Autism.

This pays approximately £1300 per month after tax.

My shifts involve me sleeping overnight, I do 16:00-16:00 the next day, with the sleeping period being 00:00-08​:00.

It's a good job, just one I no longer wish to do.

 

[vim_fuego]

I currently work as a Senior Support Worker, in a home for individuals with very challenging behavior and varied learning difficulties

This should work to your advantage in the Regiment.....

I know what it's like to have a dream and I know what it's like to put the family [eventually] before that dream...difficult choice to make bud and one that should be made by both of you as it's as much an investment from the partner as it is from you...especially if you get Lossie as a posting and you've always been used to have the family on tap for back-up down South...

 

[Winwright]

This should work to your advantage in the Regiment.....

I know what it's like to have a dream and I know what it's like to put the family [eventually] before that dream...difficult choice to make bud and one that should be made by both of you as it's as much an investment from the partner as it is from you...especially if you get Lossie as a posting and you've always been used to have the family on tap for back-up down South...

Can I ask, why would me doing my current role give me an advantage?

 

[FOMz]

It was a joke..... Rock Apes aren't known for their intelligence on the whole... But I wouldn't have anyone else doing FP apart from them.... They are the dogs bollocks.

 

[Winwright]

It was a joke..... Rock Apes aren't known for their intelligence on the whole... But I wouldn't have anyone else doing FP apart from them.... They are the dogs bollocks.

Haha get it now!