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Quite sure......
I'm just a damn capable womanDT_Xtremez_30:
And not a bad specimen of womanhood at that
DT_Xtremez_17:This morning Mrs Jardon/Marriott stands in front of the mirror and say's - "i'm losing my looks, my boobs sag and my arse is getting fat, and you've stopped giving me compliments".
Hu says - on the upside your eye sight is fcuking spot on"
I reckon I should stay in the Mess tonight.....................
What can't you do right for doing wrong????
Ah, the old jokes are the best. . . . . . . .
DT_Xtremez_28:Originally Posted by Sniffer
Incidentally in our house, if we get new electrical equipment or furniture that needs assembling, or something needs putting in the loft (like a new bloody digital aerial) then I also end up doing that. So now I'm wondering what is classed as Man's work???? I also ended up putting a bloody fence up this summer after repeatedly asking (or moaning as he would say) the hubby to do it. Looked lovely I did in Wickes with 60 planks of featherboard under my arms.
Was it an away match, then ??
DT_Xtremez_14:
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And not a bad specimen of womanhood at that
Aaahh Pen thank you for your kind words. It's not true what they say about you!
DT_Xtremez_15:
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It's a blokes subtle way of telling you you're overweight and need some exercise. His caring side has provided the monitor so you can have advanced warning of a heart attack during your exertions. Women - doh!..
laboratoryqueen
Dr Midget Midgetson
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Don't be daft, men being subtle just isn't a known thing. The most subtle a man gets is by calling his wife chubby or chubbs rather than an outright you're getting fat.
Yeah thats more like it LQ, they are about as subtle as a brick to the face.
Dave-exfairy
Warrant Officer
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Yet it's ok for you women to say to us men that we're getting fat?
Can't have it both ways girls!!!
My g/f said to me I was getting fat, so I went and started British Military Fitness and am losing the weight, now she's put/putting weight on and she goes in a huff when I mention that it might be time for her to start fitness classes.
WOMEN!!!!
Can't have it both ways girls!!!
My g/f said to me I was getting fat, so I went and started British Military Fitness and am losing the weight, now she's put/putting weight on and she goes in a huff when I mention that it might be time for her to start fitness classes.
WOMEN!!!!
laboratoryqueen
Dr Midget Midgetson
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Did you call her chubbs by any chance
DT_Xtremez_31:I think people would be more than likely to start worrying if me and Cooheed didn't insult each other constantly. I just don't take offence at what he says for two reasons really, 1) if it needs saying I can count on him to be the one to say it and 2) he's a total mong so can easily be ignored.
Dave-exfairy
Warrant Officer
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I'm not THAT brave!!!!Did you call her chubbs by any chance
DT_Xtremez_06:I'm not THAT brave!!!!
It's possible by accident.
My G/F was stretched out wearing an unflattering swimsuit in the blazing Sun.
I think she must have heard my remark, (quoting a book): "Like a Beached whale".
She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I went fishing. . . . .
Hmmmm. Maybe thats why Mr Sniffer makes remarks like that to me. I think he secretly hopes that I wont speak to him for the whole day. Ha ha! If I dont speak to him then I can't ask him to do jobs around the house, which he then wont be able to do badly, which in turn wont pi$$ me off.
I guess by that logic, in the long run, he thinks he is doing me a favour.
DT_Xtremez_30:
G
Gingerburd
Guest
This morning Mrs Jardon/Marriott stands in front of the mirror and say's - "i'm losing my looks, my boobs sag and my arse is getting fat, and you've stopped giving me compliments".
Hu says - on the upside your eye sight is fcuking spot on"
I reckon I should stay in the Mess tonight.....................
What can't you do right for doing wrong????
Maybe you better move in the mess lol , not before handing over your credit card to Mrs J!!
G
gemarriott
Guest
Since I inherited all that Dosh I no longer need a card so she is welcome to ityeah, man upand give her your card, maybe I'll get mine back then
DT_Xtremez_30:I once gave Mrs Marriott Jadon an ironing board for Valentine's day, she went harpic
A couple of Chrimbos ago I gave Mrs kickstart an ironing board cover as a "joke"!
Got the whole thing on video tape and pit it in a safety deposit box in case anything "suspicious" should happen to me
DT_Xtremez_15:Anyway, just to upset the rest of womankind (and there's two words that should never be combined)......
Five Rules for Men
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
incoming........