Welcome to E-Goat :: The Totally Unofficial Royal Air Force Rumour Network
Join our free community to unlock a range of benefits like:
  • Post and participate in discussions.
  • Send and receive private messages with other members.
  • Respond to polls and surveys.
  • Upload and share content.
  • Gain access to exclusive features and tools.
Join 7.5K others today

Lying to Women

  • Following weeks of work, the E-GOAT team are delighted to present to you a new look to the forums with plenty of new features. Take a look around and see what you think!
Trending This Week
View More Trending
Off Topic
Why take the ring off? There are plenty of birds out there that don't care.


Back OT:

"I slipped"
 
When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?"
The correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"
 
"Honestly......i prefer girls with smaller boobs"

Incidentally, i've found the worst thing to do, in response to the questions

"Does this make me look fat"

is to do the following:

1. Tell her to stand by the window, facing in, and to wait a second
2. Log on to google earth
3. Find your house
4. Find the window
5. Utter the immortal line not if you look from space, it's not.
 
"I'll put the clocks forward before I go to bed !" :PDT_Xtremez_42:


Why does she keep asking me to empty the dishwasher ?
I've noticed that everytime I say I'll do it in a minute it empties itself ! :PDT_Xtremez_05:
 
I don't lie to my Mrs, ever since I started telling the truth the long periods of silence are blissful.
 
"Why you've parked the car perfectly dear! 1" from the kerb, parallel and first time too!"
:PDT_Xtremez_15:
 
Why don't we go see that Abba tribute. I'd love to see it. Huh, football ? I didn't realise we were playing this weekend but if you insist !


Don't worry dear. There aren't that many matches during the World Cup.
 
"No dear, of course I'll take you to the Garden Centre on Sunday.
The Brazil F1 race doesn't matter much anyway".

True Story:
I had taken my late wife to the Supermarket. It was Friday, packed, and almost at melting point. We were standing in the queue and I looked at her and said: "You're what ?". The whole place stopped dead; you could have heard an apple drop.
 
Of course you havn't had too much to drink and are not talking total crap
 
Tad off topic but a helpful hint to those men who hate browsing the 'smellies' shops.

e.g. body shop etc.

Allow your dearest to wander off to the other side of the shop before you shout

''babe, here's that incest you love'' and wave some incense sticks at her.

Hey presto, she will never take you into another one again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top