Weddings

[RAF Bird]

My parents and his parents are paying for most of my sister's wedding so it doesn't really matter what she can afford it seems. I'm bored of the whole thing already, its been going on since the engagement last july, the party in august and now its all the crap that goes into it. Christmas was spent talking about her wedding, my birthday yesterday was spent talking about her wedding, oh but it doesn't matter cos 10 months tomorrow it'll all be done. DT_Xtremez_42:DT_Xtremez_35:

Ah tats no need for you to feel jealous I'm sure your big day will come in time!! DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[The Monkey Bus]

LQ I'm with you, I really cannot see the point in spending so much money on just one day.

I had a cool wedding. Just me, hubby, two best mates, all in jeans and t-shirts. Off to the register office, got married, drank champagne out of plastic cups in the car park and then spent the rest of the day in the pub getting wasted and having a laugh with our mates. Total cost probably no more than £300.

Perfect! No debt, no months of arrangments, no stress etc at whether the dress will be ready on time or any of that malarkey.

 

[tats]

Ah tats no need for you to feel jealous I'm sure your big day will come in time!! DT_Xtremez_42:

I've never been jealous of her, she bores me to tears and makes everything about her, I've told her I won't be going to her wedding anyway.

 

[Ex-Bay]

I've never been jealous of her, she bores me to tears and makes everything about her, I've told her I won't be going to her wedding anyway.

Oh dear.
Do you mean that SHE bores you to tears or her limited conversation range bores you?
Have a think about not causing a family dispute (you never know when you'll need support)

 

[FOGHORN LEGHORN]

I've never been jealous of her, she bores me to tears and makes everything about her, I've told her I won't be going to her wedding anyway.

you sound like a great sister! maybe, just maybe you could try being happy for her. all the planning done and her day could be ruined cos you were too bitter and twisted to turn up. why are people so synical about people being happy and wanting the best on thier wedding day. miserable s*ds

 

[Gingerburd]

Put your jealousy and bitterness aside, and be happy for her , who knows if you show an interest and get involved, it might not be such a bad thing. Its her special day,so stop sulking and be a bit more supportive.When it comes to your big day, am sure all the attention will be on you. So chill

 

[laboratoryqueen]

you sound like a great sister! maybe, just maybe you could try being happy for her. all the planning done and her day could be ruined cos you were too bitter and twisted to turn up. why are people so synical about people being happy and wanting the best on thier wedding day. miserable s*ds

I'm not so much cynical, just simply don't get why people want to spend so much money on one day and put more thought into the actual wedding ceremony than they do into the marriage itself. The size of the ceremony and the amount of money paid into it doesn't alter the end product, a big church wedding doesn't make you more married than a registry office wedding.

The idea of saving for years before the event and all for that one day makes my blood run cold when I think of what that money could be used for. I just think personally a more intimate wedding with the people who actually mean something to you, and the money saved go towards the house deposit or for the kids futures. I'm certainly not knocking marriage, I just think that the marriage is more important than the actual wedding day.

 

[tats]

I can assure you I'm neither jealous nor bitter. She can do all she likes for her wedding, there is no guarantee that I'll be able to attend anyway so just preparing her for that factor.

 

[Teh Wal]

LQ I'm with you, I really cannot see the point in spending so much money on just one day. ...

Me too. Me and Mrs Wal did things on the cheap too: we both thought it would be a huge waste of money to have all the bells and whistles so spent as little as possible but still had a fantastic day with family and friends (wish I could re-do my speech though :S) and spent somewhere in the region of 6 or 700 quid. My sisters wedding cost 8K - the marriage lasted 8 years. Mrs Wals sisters wedding cost again about 8K - that one lasted 11 years.
25 1/2 years later we're still convinced we got it right DT_Xtremez_28:.

 

[FOGHORN LEGHORN]

that's nice LB but you've certainly got a knack for putting opinion across as fact. why does it bother you so much what other people do? listen, the fact is you don't see the point of spending all that money on one day cos you don't see the worth. so don't.
the fact is that some people do see the worth, because for whatever reason they have a different perspective than you. my cousin's wedding a couple of years back was an amazing day, all anyone kept saying was words like magical, fairytale, and amazing. for the rest of her life she can look back on a day that all those who attended regard as a day of hapiness. for myself and my fiance i want the same. if it's a small wedding, big wedding, here or abroad i wouldn't care. as long as we are together and happy. as it turns out my lass has always had her dream wedding and i'm going to do my best to give it to her. we aren't over the top and don't care about what anyone else thinks so our motivation is purely us and our day. my aim is also to make it as stress free as possible so that we can relax and enjoy.
i suggest you do the same. stop concerning yourself with such strong opinions about everyone else and relax, enjoy and concentrate on your own life.
i wish everyone the wedding day they want. no matter how big or small. do what you want and s*d everyone else

 

[vim_fuego]

I have to admit I was best man at one in Yorkshire (the posh bit near York) that must have cost in the region of £25-30k back in 2001 and it was a bloody brilliant day all round...The planning and attention to detail, whilst I was still sober enough to notice, was spot on and there wasn't more than half an hour in the whole day where something wasn't happening of interest to look at or eat/drink...

So if you've got it and can afford it I guess why not? (They could by the way...afford it I mean).

 

[laboratoryqueen]

that's nice LB but you've certainly got a knack for putting opinion across as fact. why does it bother you so much what other people do? listen, the fact is you don't see the point of spending all that money on one day cos you don't see the worth. so don't.
the fact is that some people do see the worth, because for whatever reason they have a different perspective than you. my cousin's wedding a couple of years back was an amazing day, all anyone kept saying was words like magical, fairytale, and amazing. for the rest of her life she can look back on a day that all those who attended regard as a day of hapiness. for myself and my fiance i want the same. if it's a small wedding, big wedding, here or abroad i wouldn't care. as long as we are together and happy. as it turns out my lass has always had her dream wedding and i'm going to do my best to give it to her. we aren't over the top and don't care about what anyone else thinks so our motivation is purely us and our day. my aim is also to make it as stress free as possible so that we can relax and enjoy.
i suggest you do the same. stop concerning yourself with such strong opinions about everyone else and relax, enjoy and concentrate on your own life.
i wish everyone the wedding day they want. no matter how big or small. do what you want and s*d everyone else

So you do actually care what other people think, why else would you be wanting them to say for years afterwards how wonderful and amazing your wedding was.

My wedding had only very close family, just parents, brothers and sisters attend, yet still I have photos to look back on, those who attended also say how wonderful and happy it was.

I'm not trying to say anyone who chooses the big wedding and paying out a fortune to do so is wrong in that choice, if they can afford it, which is why the question was posed as to why some do choose this, to gain an insight into the reasons.

I did state that these are my opinions and the only actual facts involved are that a large number of people do take out loans to cover the expense and do end up in debt, all to have the big wedding.

 

[FOGHORN LEGHORN]

of course i want everyone to have a good time, else i wouldn't invite them! but when planning the day the only people who's opinion should count is those who's wedding it is. i think you're right, to spend outside your budget and put all the focus on the day and not the marriage possibly isn't a good idea. you just came across as negative towards the idea of a large wedding. where me and my lass are concerned, we are both very family orientated and from large close knit families so it was always going to be large in number. looking forward to it. DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[RAF Bird]

I can assure you I'm neither jealous nor bitter. She can do all she likes for her wedding, there is no guarantee that I'll be able to attend anyway so just preparing her for that factor.

To be fair you do sound a bit jealous and bitter. Aren't you in training??? That's how it comes across in your posts and if so why would you have to miss your sisters wedding. Pretty sure they're not gonna make you miss it.

 

[Soupdragon]

seems to me that weddings, be they big, small, cheap, expensive, whatever are all about one person and anyone else is just a bit part player.

The one in the white dress.

(altho how some of them have the neck to wear white is beyond me)

All the guy has to do is to turn up reasonably sober on the day, say the right words in the right places and try not to cop off with the bridesmaids/brides sister/brides best friend etc etc

 

[grumpyoldb]

seems to me that weddings, be they big, small, cheap, expensive, whatever are all about one person and anyone else is just a bit part player.

The one in the white dress.

(altho how some of them have the neck to wear white is beyond me)

All the guy has to do is to turn up reasonably sober on the day, say the right words in the right places and try not to cop off with the bridesmaids/brides sister/brides best friend etc etc

You missed the M-in-Law out of there!DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[Teh Wal]

seems to me that weddings, be they big, small, cheap, expensive, whatever are all about one person and anyone else is just a bit part player.

The one in the white dress...

I think I have to agree with that... however without everyone else being there what's the point of the white dress (the symbolism of the dress is what I mean)? The whole day should be made as special as it is by being surrounded by family, friends and those that love the two people who are getting hitched: and for that you don't need to spend a whole heap of dosh, it's all about the people, not the material worth.

 

[Ex-Bay]

seems to me that weddings, be they big, small, cheap, expensive, whatever are all about one person and anyone else is just a bit part player.

The one in the white dress.

(altho' how some of them have the neck to wear white is beyond me)

Here, Here.
I have to say that my first wore a very fetching Apricot coloured number. Come to think of it none of them wore white. . . .

 

[R_Squared]

My Brother's marriage cost 15k and lasted 3 years.

One of my Best mates back home cost him 12k and lasted a year.

My wife's best mate's cost her around 14k and lasted 18 months.

My sister in-laws cost 18k and lasted 2 years.

Ours cost about 3k in Lossie 9 years ago.
Mrs r0jaws, thinks she'd been ripped off. DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[laboratoryqueen]

I think the most expensive thing in my wedding was the special license as I was under 18, my parents had to give consent on the form. The dress cost 20 quid and the rings only about 30 quid, he wore one of my dad's suits. Mum made the cake and did a small spread at her house. Okay if I ever married again I don't think I'd go quite that cheap but it was special circumstance, done very quickly and only expected to last a few weeks. I would spend wongas on a honeymoon though DT_Xtremez_15:

End of the day we did have a good marriage, everyone remembers how happy we both were and we were still man and wife, even if it did only cost a few hundred quid.