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Out of the mouths of babes

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Miss_Tina said:
Men aren't so bright either you know!

I over heard a conversation in a country pub about college courses

"Do you know what NVQ stands for?"

"No, what?"

"Not Very Well Qualified! ha ha ha"

:PDT_Xtremez_42:
Click to expand...

I rather think that was a joke rather than a serious quote, unlike those on this thread uttered by your fellow women from the sisterhood.
 
Miss_Tina said:
Men aren't so bright either you know!

I over heard a conversation in a country pub about college courses

"Do you know what NVQ stands for?"

"No, what?"

"Not Very Well Qualified! ha ha ha"

:PDT_Xtremez_42:
Click to expand...


We don't have to pass it on second hand now, they come and do it for us:PDT_Xtremez_30:
 
Mini TB aged 6 - Careful using your phone in the rain mummy you could get electric shocked.

Mrs TB - Don't worry there's no electric in mummies phone it has a battery. :PDT_Xtremez_42:
 
The office E2

The office E2

The admin girl in my office is a walking 'Out of the mouths of babes' compendium.

Me - Enticott, Spell it please.
Her - Echo - NODDY - Tango - INDIGO - - - etc
Me - (p1ssing myself) Spell it again please.
Her - ESKIMO - N-N-N-N I dont Know.

or...

Her - You're going to get your Upincommance.

or...

Her - Your wifes only 4' 12" isn't she?

or...

But things mature with age though don't they?
 
Female medic at certain FI mountain site:

"Don't take any notice of those scales, I haven't had them collaborated"

Same medic, during heated debate about who recorded a particular song:

"Look it up on on expedia.com..."
 
It's true I really heard it, and he was being serious. I wish someone had pointed it out to him!

Anyway I must prepare myself for work as it is nearly 08:00am!
 
My neighbour told me a corker the other day....

He goes to the local equivalent of B&Q to buy a light for the dining room and spends 370 Euros on one.

On the journey home his missus starts "um-ing" and "er-ing" and by the time they get home 15 minutes later she's decided it's going back.

So, back to the shop for a refund.... and on the way out she points at the same light they've just returned and says, "Oooh! I like that one!".
:PDT_Xtremez_42:
 
whilst talking about one of the lads going to europe in august for a paragliding exped one of the charming air core lasses pipes up,

"Ah, wish I was going. Germany in August is great cause Octoberfest is on"
 
this one is something i've said, i'll hang my head in shame now...

Way back in 2006 i was on VASS in a certain boring sandy part of the world, and one of my secondary duties was to run the teabar :"Cafe Vass" brewed fresh coffee all day (and most the night, we never slept much so we needed the coffee to stay awake), one fine sunny day i'd toddled off to the BX to get a new tin of grinds. On my return i loked at the can and was heard to say " ee zed open? what the hell does ee-zed open mean???" only to have it pointed out that in american it was ee-zee, easy open....

d'oh!i'm sure wobbly and mingmong and a few of the others might remember some more of the things i've said while working, i could fill a linebook by myself hehehe
 
Her: "It's not electric; it runs on Batteries."

She still does not understand. . . . .
 
I honestly dont know if i have posted this before but it always gives mono a chuckle so here we go.

A few years back mono was talking to me about jets and watching them taking off at night. I said something along the lines of 'yeah, it must be great seeing them.....them......what are they called? Them great balls of fire out the back! :PDT_Xtremez_42: Cue much hysterical laughter from mono and me feeling very daft that i couldnt think of the word!

And that word is...........(altogether now) AFTER BURNERS!
 
sabot_age said:
"Ah, wish I was going. Germany in August is great cause Octoberfest is on"
Click to expand...


She wasn't too far off considering it starts on September 19th this year and Oktoberfest not actually meaning "OCTOBER"fest....
 
There was an attractive girlie copper in Akrotiri back in the 90's, attractive but thick as mince according to the lad who played in our darts team.
She was due to man the main picket post one day and the shift were warned to take their ear defenders with them because the Red Arrows were arriving that morning. "What, are they driving in?" she asks?
Another time she suffers a puncture in the Landy whilst down at the Mole and calls up for some help. Two others go down to help her change the wheel but warn her to drive back at no more than 20mph to allow the 'self-torquing' wheelnuts to bed in. Sniggering to themselves they leave her to drive back, but get a bit concerned when she fails to arrive after 30 minutes. After 45 mins she gets back and declares that shes got one over on the smart-asses; at 20mph the wheel would fall off wouldn't it, so she drove back at 10 mph!
 
The Masked Geek said:
She wasn't too far off considering it starts on September 19th this year and Oktoberfest not actually meaning "OCTOBER"fest....
Click to expand...

true. not a massive error in the grand scheme of things. The best bit was no one else noticed until i picked up on it. Not because they're not smart guys. But they generally drone out her inane banal chatter.
 
Driving along yesterday and I said we needed to check the oils and lubes on the car when the missus chipped in with:


"We need to check the radiator level cause it's almost Winter and we haven't used it yet this year".
 
Around my mates house one evening we were being shown the newly decorated Living room, and my mates missus pipes up with " And Alan put the Dildo rail up.

:PDT_Xtremez_34:
 
Couple from Mrs AB.

we were driving somewhere and the oil pressure warning light came on. I said that I couldn't understand why it had come on, she replied "maybe the bulbs gone".

Her mam bought her a digital camera for her birthday, she had a good look at it and then asked "where does the film go".
 
Can't remember the exact quote, but a lass at MPA worked out quite logically as to why she was so out of breath after going out jogging round the complex:

"well it's harder to breath down here as there are no trees" !!
 
A mate was selling his motor and a young girl was interested.
He told her the radiator was fooked and she said, "Its ok, don't worry, I'll just wear a coat when it gets cold!"
 
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