Stupid Snag Awards

[rest have risen above me]

Here's a classic 707A entry from today.

"Aircraft rolls left with left trim applied." .... DT_Xtremez_21:

Any more classics from our romper suited operators.

 

[sausage2]

We had a Female pilot captain come in the line one day wanting to speak to a fairy, when one turned up she said and I quote

" The spinny thing at the front doesn't always spin"

I overheared the debrief and asked her if that was the technical term for it.

At this point she pointed to her hair and said "well I am blond" DT_Xtremez_03:

 

[budgie]

Had a Gyro thingy in the bay with, "Fails to erect in flight". DT_Xtremez_42:

Strange that.

 

[Weebl]

I got called out to a crew in on a Herc once and the captain told me the throttles were too stiff to move if he did the friction lock up.

I had to ask him what the problem was 3 times before I actually believed I had heard it right.

 

[Billy Whizz]

Had a paranoid pilot on Andovers who was fixated with a panel that's light didn't seem to go out when he closed the door - microswitch operated on fully closed!

His reasoning?

When I close my fridge door, the light goes out well before it's fully closed? So what!!!!!!DT_Xtremez_35:

 

[Pistonbroke]

Many moons ago the Phantoms regularly had a snag, "No birdies in PD". Not being a fairy, I haven't a clue what that was. I could guess the PD as Pulse Doppler but what is the "Birdie" thing?

 

[A CLING NERD SHRON]

Many moons ago the Phantoms regularly had a snag, "No birdies in PD". Not being a fairy, I haven't a clue what that was. I could guess the PD as Pulse Doppler but what is the "Birdie" thing?

No idea. Is that a funny entry into the 707A?

 

[Pistonbroke]

I'm giving my age away now. That was a 720 entry!!!!! I was a docs controller at MPA in eng records covering 23 Sqn. Can't remember the old form number for the Change of Serviceability Log. Too many sherbots.

 

[Wing boy]

Not a story about aircraft but a few years ago at Ali Al I had a Young Rock phone the Commcen.

Regt: I cant seem to get through on the my phone card, it always comes up engaged.

Me: The lines are all engaged mate! Bye!!!

Two days later same rock calls

Regt: the phone in the block doesnt seem to work

Me: which phone is that

Regt: this one

Me: Bye mate!

 

[matkat]

My favourite was "fly in cockpit" when I stopped laughing I asked the crew where it was believe it or not it had flown away,what a shocker NOT.

 

[budgie]

Another good one.

Autopilot drops out at 80kts.
Jockey did not like being reminded that it's meant to drop out at, amazingly 80kts!::

 

[Jag Fag]

Afterburner flame wrong colour (after reports to ATC by a spotter). The engine was still changed on the 'display jet', wasting a lot of tax payers' money.

At least the pilots' ego was still intact DT_Xtremez_21:

The engine bay reported - 'No Fault Found' and that the engine was the best on record (power and serviceability).

****ing spotters/pretentious pilots DT_Xtremez_35:

 

[budgie]

A mate from my fitters course sent a Rad Alt T/R back to us with,

"Fails at 5000ft"

He must have been asleep for the Rad Alt lesson.DT_Xtremez_08:

 

[fugmeister general]

when i was on harriers we sent a jet up for a loose article flight after many unsuccessful searches. upon its return the jockey was asked did you find any thing to which he replied " when i turned it inverted it dropped onto the canopy" to which the techie asked did you grab hold of it to which he replied "did'nt thinkyou wanted it........" dull jockey.


another was whilst in turkey the jockey dropped his lens cap down the side of the seat upon put his hand down there he pulled out a ruler & calculator then eventually his lenses cap.... just goes to show the lineys were on the ball shame the jockey who dropped them in the first place did'nt say so in the first place he was down there 6 months previous...

 

[ChocMonster]

One little P Bulb

One little P Bulb

A Fat Albert returned from a flight to South Georgia with a possible Throttle Restriction due to a loose article. The crew dumped most of the 98,000lb of fuel before returning. The captain reported the snag as, he was adjusting the clock when the P bulb fell out and bounced off his knee and down the throttle box.

Unfortunately, this did not ring true and on applied pressure his Nav gave the true story. When the captain was adjusting his clock, the P Bulb managed to come loose. Instead of putting it safe, he bounced it from hand to hand. On his last bounce it went from left to right, bounced out of his hand and down the throttle box. DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[oh4fuxsake]

Flameout

Flameout

Heard a 'goody' years ago. Snag debrief from an airfield 'somewhere in the Southern hemisphere' (yes, really, really South). Report of an F3 engine flameout (double if my poor Snecky brain recalls). Much head scratching. Much questioning. Sheepish admission of altitude. Many thousands of those old fashioned feet things. Up where the air is clear indeed...

 

[MiniG]

Good story from a few moons ago....

A famous ex rugby player, in a canberra with the odd shaped nose,

Crew-in snag on taxy, comms bod sent out to see what problem was,

On opening the door he was confronted with the pilot shouting above the ambient noise that his intercomm and radios had just failed.

Our super sleuth plugged in the pilots pig tail and left.

Cost.... one slab..

 

[oh4fuxsake]

Bad snag

Bad snag

Caught my trousers on an engine lay-by stand. Hope Ron doesn't see the rip...

 

[reddeathdrinker]

Crew in snag, problem with some fairy kit. Fairy appears from crew room, and tells the seat-stick interface that it doesn't work in O-F-F mode.....

 

[P-Clip]

Not pilot but I'm sorry to say fellow liney.

Not pilot but I'm sorry to say fellow liney.

A liney who I work with put in a line snag reporting the thermocouple, at the half four position on engine number 2 missing. Not something stupid you may think but no engine in the fleet has a thermocouple at half four. This includes the aircrafts only other engine which he signed for checking. He had also checked several other engines in his two years on the squadron at maybe six engines a day. DT_Xtremez_09: