This is Nick Lock.
Firstly i'd like to apologise for not posting earlier, but between all of the reporters, photographers, telephone calls and film crew that have been here this last week, along with pain, which leaves me taking oral morphine and bed ridden my time has been very limited and my head not clear.
Secondly, thank you just does not seem enough for what each and every single one of you is doing/has done for me. It is totally overwhelming what people who don't even know you are prepared to do for you. At the end of the day you can kind of understand it when it comes from your Squadron/Section, but from people at different Sections, Wings, Camps and even Services it really makes you sit back and think. It seems like faith has been put back in Humanity and all of the bad things you see on the news are not the only things happening as you guys have proved here, good things happen too.
Because of all of the good wishes, support and kind words, I feel you should all know exactly what I have been through, and why you are doing this...
I'm a fighter. And I know I can beat this, just like I knew I could beat my first cancer in 2003. When it came back I had 3 months worth of chemotherapy, this was very successful. It shrunk one patch of cancer from 17mm down to 6mm, more than half! I then had a month break before carrying on with the same treatment. Another 3 months worth, which unfortunately had no effect as the cancer had become tolerant to the chemotherapy.
My Doctor then applied for this drug, Cetuximab. We found out that funding had been denied 2 days before Christmas. At the time this wasn't as serious as what it is now as my Oncologists colleague (A professor in London who works in The Royal Marsden Hospital, pioneered the drug and writes articles for medical magazines) said that we could try another drug called Oxaliplatin. This is one of the drugs I had originally, so I was quite pleased as I 'thought' I knew what to expect.
I was to have my chemotherapy infusions once every 2 weeks, the same as before. The first session didn't go very well. I had a load of different side effects, but dosed myself up on morphine and slept through the night. So the time comes for my second session. I ended up not leaving the hospital. I became really ill during the infusion and was put on the specialist cancer ward in Torbay hospital, Torquay. That night my kidneys collapsed and I got rushed into the Critical Care Unit. At the time my Dad (who has retired and usually lives in Cyprus with my Mum) and my little brother were in Cyprus. The Doctors told my Mum and my older brother that they should contact them, tell them to come home as soon as possible because I had about 12 hours left to live, and it would be a medical miracle if I were to make it through the night.
At that time the Doctors felt that they couldn't give me any dialysis because they didn't think that I was stable enough to be tampered with anymore and that i'd end up poisoning myself in about 3 days. In the morning, when I was still alive when I wasn't expected to be, the Doctors then suspected I may be strong enough to take the dialysis and the other treatment I needed. So the treatment started and I got stronger and stronger. When I finally came round, a couple of days later, the first thing I wanted was a bacon sandwich
Then, after a few days I got moved to Exeter hospital as they have a better renal unit for kidney dialysis. This consists of 2 pipes that dangle off of your chest that run on top of your chest plate up and into your jugular vein. They took the blood out of one pipe, cleaned it and then put it back via the other. I got told my kidneys would never work again. The dialysis was 3 times a week, for 4 to 5 hours at a time. A big chunk of time out of your week...
Luckily, my treatment then got moved to Newton Abbot (where I live), so at least I didn't have to worry about the half hour travelling time to Exeter and the half hour back. Then to our surprise my kidneys kicked in and started to work again. Great news, another fight that went my way!
My Oncologist then told me that if they hadn't started working, he wouldn't have given me any further cancer fighting drugs, which would have meant it would have been left to it's own devices... Not good! So now there is only one thing left to try. The drug we have already been refused funding for. The reason we can apply for it again was that we had new evidence... The evidence was that Oxaliplatin wasn't a good drug for me to have, and that Cetuximab was our last option.
As you all know... We got denied...
Some of the facts and figures are incorrect, which is another reason why I wanted to share my story. I'll try to clear a few up.
I need 3 treatments of Cetuximab. After 3 treatments and a scan, the Doctors should be able to tell if the drug is working or not. For a company to come around to my house and administer 3 doses, 9 weeks worth, it will cost approximately £15,000 (not sure where the £36,000 figure came from). This includes all of the extra costs incurred via nurses and equipment etc. This is where the problem starts. If the drug works I will obviously need more... I may need a further 2, 5, 9, 15, 30 (who knows) doses. Basically I will need to keep taking it until the cancer gets tolerant to the drug, or my body can simply take no more...
I have savings which I can use, but sooner or later these will run out. I'll sell my motorbike, i'll sell my car. At the end of the day it's my life involved, and until you're in a situation like mine, you really don't realise just exactly how precious life is. You really should treasure each and every single moment. Treasure everything! I know I do!
I have read all of the threads and apologise again for not being able to get back to each of you personally as it is just too much for me. This is a personal thank you to each and every single one of you.
Take good care and stay safe, Nick.