Jobs that are an utter Barsteward!

[shakie]

rear e.c.s boost fan on the harrier. outboard rear bolt. what a mare. ended up putting 4" of locking wire through my finger and out under my finger nail trying to just get the bolt thread started. that brought a tear to my eye

 

[230Tiger]

Always remember changing the bag tanks on a Puma!
The only way to do it was to stand in the hatch and lean over. After faffing around with a million and one (well, felt like that many!) of those crappy little clips that you had to try to pinch through inch thick rubber and then locate on it's pin, the lower half of your rib was bloody sore!

 

[Late & Tired]

CSDU cooling fan on the 'Rod. sometimes felt that breaking my forearm in several places would make reaching the top row of bolts SO much easierDT_Xtremez_35:

Ah yes, - so good to see that even after 30 years the old CSDU Cooling Fan suggested mod is still awaiting introduction. That top row of bolts by the No1 ECU intake needs a thalidomide with 4 elbows to be fitted correctly. Even better at 2 in the morning in a horizontal blizzard; "hangar space... what hangar space?"...

 

[Past Engineering]

One of mine was the Rudder Limiter on the Nimrod, on the flight line in the middle of summer at RAF Luqa. not a job for the faint hearted at the best of times and made worse in the heat of the day. There I was upside down across the RH front seat and my head got stuck between the Rudder Pedals, not a good time to start panicking. Worked both day and night shift as all the other guys on the other shift claimed that I was the only one who knew how to replace the item and the Sqd wanted the jet back on line soonestDT_Xtremez_21:.

Another is the Tornado GR refuelling probe interface with a hyd leak, located top RH side of Zone 19, all that used to remember between the swearing was the words of BAE that there should not be any problems with that item.

 

[Vushtrri]

Though not strictly a barsteward of a job............the most mind numbing to me was on the monor star servicing removing every perspex light cover held on by 4 nuts in the c130 fuselage, cleaning and polishing them before replacing them by hand...a windy drill plus socket being unsuitable as the screw threads were so thin they would shear off at the slightest pressure ..

The best?..replacing the pitot heads using the excess PRC to make a life like turd to be left in the tray of sausages in the mess when going in for an early breakfast..wa sit the Wessex Restaurant?

 

[Barch]

A real tw*t of a job on that demon of the skies "The Jet Provost!" was wirelocking "Detail X". It was the connection of the hydraulic actuator to the steel wire cables that operated the undercarriage and a 'mare. You had to use a mirror and a mirror image drawing, with a combination of cross over, left handed and normal locking. Thankfully for me, I couldn't normally get access to it as there were some big sumpy bits in the way, but I not so fondly remember my SNEC "checking!" my efforts, with a pair of snips.

We always saved Detail X for a Friday afternoon job after a pub lunch and a few John Smiths. I only ever achieved it on my first attempt once.

In the days of the paper AP it was the dirtiest and most illegible page in the Vol 1.

The big sumpy bit was the fuel recuperator if I remember correctly.

 

[DrunkenMonki]

I think the sh!ttest job i've done was wirelocking the SLIRs in on GR1A's. Royal pain in the arse! My new jet (shhh) is quite maint friendly, but i'll let you know if I find a real tw@t.

 

[karltrowitz]

Changing a Nimrod windscreen wiper motor was a t*at of a Job. Buried up behind the back of the instrument panel and you could only just get your fingertips to it.

 

[Realist78]

Having to change all 35 (yes, 35 of the feckers!) fire bo.ttles on the Mighty V after the DF's had set them off whilst doing no volts checks

 

[SecretSquirrel]

35??!! That's alot of engines... DT_Xtremez_30:

 

[Realist78]

35??!! That's alot of engines... DT_Xtremez_30:

6 in each wing, 3 in left and right recuperator bays, 4 engine ones in the bomb bay, 8 additional in the bomb bay, 4 in the NLG bay (I think) and lastly one by the Rover (AAPU). I think that's right (this is from memory 27 years ago but I think it's about right LOL).

 

[NigeC]

OOP ( Out of Phase ) Code N, if memory serves me right on the Phantom FGR2.

AD470 Tx / Rx ( HF Long Range Radio ) presurisation - every 28 days !!

Only trouble was it was behind Panel 61 L ( L for Left ) just in front of the stabiliser.

Lots of screws to remove the access panel, presurise with dry Nitrogen, lots of screws back in, oops, on the last screw, one of the anchor nuts fell out and was the wrong side of the panel !!

Lots of screw out, put said anchor nut back in place, lots of screws back in, oops - another anchor nut fell out - repeat the above !!!

End result was it got "signed off" as being done next time it was due- oops DT_Xtremez_21:

But it was in Germany at the height of the Cold War ( It was hell, honest )

Posted back to Fairies graveyard at 30MU, Now that was a shock to the nervous system !!!! DT_Xtremez_25:

 

[clickie]

Always had weeks of fun replacing the gore cables on the ZEUS system prior to Op Warden. Some days I managed to get 1 p-clip done up in the rear u/c bay where the main wiring looms ran through in a shift in a shift.

Painful and frustrating job - working blind with one hand while being a contortionist - sums up the GR7

 

[JT 4 ever]

One I have 'fond' memories of is the fin tank inlet valve on the Mighty VC10, hidden inside the Keel beam. The valve is just in arms reach and must be the one thing the whole aircraft is built around.

You have a panel for access and you can either look at it or put you left arm in to do the job, not both. Right pain in the spuds for the 90% of people who are right handed.
If only they had put it closer to the panel...!

 

[MattBombHead]

I'm surprised this one hasn't come up yet...

When carrying out a Gun Harm on the mighty GR1/4 (and i presume F3 but never done it) there are 3 tiny little bolts that need to be adjusted and tightened to harm the front of the barrel. One of these little tiny nuts is positioned so far around the back of the assembly you can only just reach it.

Then when, after hours and hours of trying to get the fecking barrel harm'ed, you finally get it all pointing in the right direction, you then need to lock wire it all together, using what must be THE thickest lock wire known to man!!!

What a pain in the 'arris!!

ANother interesting thing is when you shear off one of said nuts, and have to try and remove the front end harm assembly with the barrel still attatched!! DT_Xtremez_42:DT_Xtremez_42:DT_Xtremez_42:

 

[ady eflog]

A fuel prop genny on a Harrier is a wankerty wank job. There is a wrist size hole to get your arm in then its a simple task of dislocating your wrist throught a lightening hole and locating the fuel prop then using your 1 hand blindly try and remove the plug and attaching bolts, making sure you don't drop anything as its panel 1 off and donk out if you do. a full shifts work if you are lucky.

 

[Justacabbie]

PHANTOM, CUTTING UP OF.

Team of 8 guys 2 weeks solid with disc cutters.

Thats a bit of a barsteward!

 

[The Bowmeister]

Puma main Rotor gearbox mounting bolts "The Ring Of Fire", a lot of bolts all locked in pairs, which you then had to Retorque 10 F/hrs later.

 

[Stevienics]

Puma main Rotor gearbox mounting bolts "The Ring Of Fire", a lot of bolts all locked in pairs, which you then had to Retorque 10 F/hrs later.

32 as I recall....and best locked by hauling a bar stool into the cabin just to get your arms closer. (Did you get the oil laden MRGB soundproofing shampoo whilst doing this?)

Other fun HC1 jobs included plexi-glass replacements (hundreds of tiny screws, any one of which would crack the screen) and setting up the Pip Intakes, which was just methodone crazed shimming madness.

 

[ICATQ]

PHANTOM, CUTTING UP OF.

Team of 8 guys 2 weeks solid with disc cutters.

Thats a bit of a barsteward!

I watched them break up 3 lightenings at Laarbruch many years ago.

One bloke in a JCB!! Took 2 hours for all three.