Old wind ups for new arrivals (merged)

[Tigger]

The Nimrod memories come flooding back !

Such as operating the dump valve on the bog without taking the plastic cap off, so newby get covered racasan and sh*t !

 

[gemarriott]

One way to download the gun on the Toomb quickly was to fire the thing with the cam clearing tool in and firing pin disconnected. To do this you had to have a bod in the nosewheel bay pressing the wheels up micro switch other wise bog all happened.

Of course new boys got the job and were not really told what was being done. Imagine the smell when the first they knew about the gun being fired was when they heard it and they were stood right in front of it.

How we did laughDT_Xtremez_14:

 

[A Time To Heal]

Not sure of the truth in these, But have heard of Herc loady climbing out of rear hatch of the a/c and telling a squaddie that on no accounts is he to let the a/c leave with him still up there, before disappearing up the ladder and closing the hatch behind him. Loady the runs across the top of the a/c climbing in the front hatch while aircraft starts up and gets ready to take-off. Meanwhile poor squaddie down the back is having a fit cos no one will listen to him about the bloke going up through the hatch. A/c takes lands at its destination, loady climbs back out the front hatch and back down the rear one swearing and cursing the poor squaddie who left him up there. Another one, herc in flight pilot comes down from cockpit with two lengths of lashing tape in hand, gives to squaddie and says can he use these to stear for a bit while he uses the thunderbox. squaddie dutifuly takes the 'reigns' and if not fully convinced of the seriousness of his duty gives one of the lengths a pull. Loady sat neardby, in contact with cockpit, tells the co which one is being pulled and dutifully turns the a/c in that direction. Squaddie suddenly scared s***less.

cheerio.DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[loafing]

A classic from Valley is one of a new course arriving with a meet & greet planned for that evening in the Officers Mess.

Beer & wine flows all night with stewards never far away from the students, tending to there every need. As the beer intake increased, a few of the students start to become a little full of themselves & start to behave rather rudely, treating the stewards with contempt and arrogance. Completely our of order.

Picture the scene the next day at work, when the 'stewards' actually turn out to be th QFIs in disguise. A couple of the studes went white with horror & had to back pedal for weeks...

That's happened a few times...

 

[Tin basher]

Best Wind up ever

Best Wind up ever

What's the best wind up you have been involved in?

Are you the criminal mastermind and super organiser of some devious machevelian plot to trap the unwary.DT_Xtremez_28:

Or have you been the unknowing and gullible victim of your workmates evil schemes.DT_Xtremez_09:
The floor fellow goaters is yours

 

[Tom S]

What's the best wind up you have been involved in?

Are you the criminal mastermind and super organiser of some devious machevelian plot to trap the unwary.DT_Xtremez_28:

Or have you been the unknowing and gullible victim of your workmates evil schemes.DT_Xtremez_09:
The floor fellow goaters is yours

When Pontius was groundcrew, organise a demonstration OTR for a visitor, in full NBC, in Cyprus, in summer. Everybody but one knew it was a wind up, did he winge.

 

[Chuff Chart]

My first real RAF posting, marham engine bay, I got collared for wearing a chain. Boy did I bite. And in the end after various hours of more winding me up it ended up with me being tannoyed to the Jengo's office to have a fake 252 read out to me. When I marched out the whole office was full of cheering chimps and I felt considerably less than my 6ft 5 DT_Xtremez_42: I was only 20 ffs!

 

[CodeMonkey]

NBC State Marigold

NBC State Marigold

Knew of a liney at ISK circa 1997-1999 B** G**df**** that was sent to the photo section with some "New NBC Outer gloves" which were in truth marigolds.

Also another liney around the same time was sent to the med centre for his anti-corrosion jab.

There are others but they will be kept secret to protect the gullible

 

[Tom S]

A long time ago, another Det, Wales with the weekend approaching. A sooty Snec wanted home to Lincolnshire and was all set to run that way when the Friday PWI (by signal, spoof of course) came in. “Access the engines and inspect……” even the Engo was in on that one.

 

[rugby then work]

Used to send the new boy on a mission round camp collecting various bits and bobs from various sections, last but one was always some OM59 and K9P from stores. Stores issued the OM59 but told the new boy that the dog section were the only ones with any in date K9P. Only ever actually worked once, the lad was mince and bought his K9P back in a coffee cup. DT_Xtremez_14:

 

[Chuff Chart]

Ive also seen somebody take a bag of contaminated air to EFDC for analysis after a jet came down with fumes in cockpit.
My personal fave has to be the ID 10 T pic. Amazed how many fall for it DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[mad_collie]

Threads merged.

 

[Oh sir]

[Quote rugby then work] Used to send the new boy on a mission round camp collecting various bits and bobs from various sections, last but one was always some OM59 and K9P from stores. Stores issued the OM59 but told the new boy that the dog section were the only ones with any in date K9P. Only ever actually worked once, the lad was mince and bought his K9P back in a coffee cup [Quote/]


I have to ask, who had the worst job there? The guy carrying the paper cup with the dog p!ss in it, or the handler that had to collect it?

Two wind ups for the price of one!

 

[TheHogwartsBEngO]

One of my painters was quite the actor.

Used to ring GEF control and get his 'Mark' on the phone. Pretending to be some Scottish Sgt from P1, he convinced the gullible fool to pop down to PSF to sign his P-Doh-File.

poor lad.

 

[Olovv]

windup

windup

A good mate of mine would quite regularly p1ss on the main wheel then point it out to the linies, who would then as is common practice, wipe a finger in it and sniff it to see what it was..........

 

[Realist78]

old wind ups

old wind ups

One of our mech's was recently sent to the photog's to have his ID photo taken wearing a respirator (for exercise purposes). I have the photo in my desk with him sat there in S6 holding up the name card with ID10T on it.DT_Xtremez_28:

 

[mild mannered janitor]

raf kilt !!!!!!

raf kilt !!!!!!

while at leuchars managed to get one of the new lac's to go to clothing stores to be fitted for his raf kilt now that he was posted to scotland ! as if it wasnt bad enough falling for that we rang ahead to stores who told him that they didn't have any in stock but he could try on a wraf skirt as the sizes were the sameDT_Xtremez_28:
imagine the horror on his face when the curtain was pulled back and he was confronted with a ldv full of lineys and one camera
DT_Xtremez_31: DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[Hot Shoes]

Sgt Fletcher

Sgt Fletcher

All new arrivals on Toombs were sent on a walk round the HAS site looking for Sgt Fletcher, on arrival in a HAS they would be sent on their way saying he had just left but could be found in ???, not knowing the "Sgt Fletcher" was the real name for the drop tank

 

[Mustang]

Old wind ups for new arrivals

Old wind ups for new arrivals

[

I have to ask, who had the worst job there? The guy carrying the paper cup with the dog p!ss in it, or the handler that had to collect it?

Two wind ups for the price of one![/QUOTE]


What makes anyone think it was K9P and not RAFPP? The ultimate p1ss take!?DT_Xtremez_28: DT_Xtremez_31:

 

[Chuff Chart]

A good mate of mine would quite regularly p1ss on the main wheel then point it out to the linies, who would then as is common practice, wipe a finger in it and sniff it to see what it was..........

Ive seen that done twice in the last 18 months! Still creases me up