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While serving in the Tyre and Tank bay at a certain North Yorkshire Tornado base, I received a phone call from Eng Ops.
“Tyre and Tank bay, Sgt Slog speaking”.
“Ah Sgt Slog, it’s Eng Ops, a Tornado has just jettisoned its under-wing fuel tanks during take-off and they have landed in a field about 1 mile south of the Base, we want you to take a team, your tank lifting sling and go and recover them”.
“Certainly” says I, “but why do I need to take the lifting slings, if the tanks have come off after take-off they will just be a crumpled heap in some farmer’s field now?”
“We have got an independent report from an Officer on the scene who claims that the tanks are intact and he claims to have the circumstances in hand and is using his Tornado experience to control the situation” came the reply.
Totally confused now, we throw the gear into the Landover and set off south down the A1 to finally arrive at the field in question to be met by a Rockape Flying Officer (this is not a dig at the regiment, I am just relating the truth).
“Sgt can I help you?”
“Yes Sir, I’m looking for the experienced officer who is in control of the crash Site”.
“That will be me” he says, “come with me and I will show you the point of impact”.
He takes us down the field about 200 yards to two dirty great craters about 20 yards apart and 10 feet deep and each one has a totally squashed fuel tank lying in about 3 feet of aviation fuel.
“Are you the Officer who reported that these tanks were intact?” I asked.
“Yes that was me” came the reply.
“And what Tornado experience did you use to come up with the reasoning that these fuel tanks that use to be 15 feet long and now are less than 1 foot long were still intact” I enquired in what could be only described as a rather incredulous and sarcastic voice.
“Well” he said, “I have been at the base for a year now and I see them take off every day!”
How I did not throw him into the crater God only knows.
Just as a footnote: the Jockey denied any wrong doing until OC Eng threatened to ground the fleet and then he finally came up with the classic line of: “Well I might have caught the jettison button with my flying glove finger when I selected the undercarriage up!”
“Tyre and Tank bay, Sgt Slog speaking”.
“Ah Sgt Slog, it’s Eng Ops, a Tornado has just jettisoned its under-wing fuel tanks during take-off and they have landed in a field about 1 mile south of the Base, we want you to take a team, your tank lifting sling and go and recover them”.
“Certainly” says I, “but why do I need to take the lifting slings, if the tanks have come off after take-off they will just be a crumpled heap in some farmer’s field now?”
“We have got an independent report from an Officer on the scene who claims that the tanks are intact and he claims to have the circumstances in hand and is using his Tornado experience to control the situation” came the reply.
Totally confused now, we throw the gear into the Landover and set off south down the A1 to finally arrive at the field in question to be met by a Rockape Flying Officer (this is not a dig at the regiment, I am just relating the truth).
“Sgt can I help you?”
“Yes Sir, I’m looking for the experienced officer who is in control of the crash Site”.
“That will be me” he says, “come with me and I will show you the point of impact”.
He takes us down the field about 200 yards to two dirty great craters about 20 yards apart and 10 feet deep and each one has a totally squashed fuel tank lying in about 3 feet of aviation fuel.
“Are you the Officer who reported that these tanks were intact?” I asked.
“Yes that was me” came the reply.
“And what Tornado experience did you use to come up with the reasoning that these fuel tanks that use to be 15 feet long and now are less than 1 foot long were still intact” I enquired in what could be only described as a rather incredulous and sarcastic voice.
“Well” he said, “I have been at the base for a year now and I see them take off every day!”
How I did not throw him into the crater God only knows.
Just as a footnote: the Jockey denied any wrong doing until OC Eng threatened to ground the fleet and then he finally came up with the classic line of: “Well I might have caught the jettison button with my flying glove finger when I selected the undercarriage up!”
DT_Xtremez_09:
